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**This post has been entered in Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**
After recently watching Maxed Out and listening to the different heart-wrenching stories, I got to thinking about all the similarities among the families facing serious debt. The same variables popped up in other documentaries I watched, too, like Sicko. I also noticed that these movies offer a thorough view of the problem, but either only a brief solution or none at all. This has made me passionate to share with you all the parts of what I call "personal financial responsibility."
It may not be easy to do all the things below, initially. But if you seek out Dave Ramsey or a similar plan and start making changes to your life in baby steps (and possibly read some of my previous blogs on money saving and budget making), you CAN do all of these. The steps below are what I consider a minimum to being financially responsible, so that no matter what crisis occurs, what disaster, what economy, you will be stable and secure.
1. Get health insurance
Examine what plans are available to you and select one that covers what you need. Be sure to look for any and all traps: a super-high deductible, long list of "not covered" items, difficulty getting to any specialists or alternative doctors, life time maximum benefits, etc. Ideally, an HSA is a good idea, with a reasonable deductible ($5000 or so), with extremely high life time maximum (over $1 million) or NO life time maximum, and good coverage (covered in all areas, while on vacation, choice of doctors and hospitals, low co-pays or no co-pays for routine care). Even if you are single you CANNOT afford not to have coverage. You could get sick or in an accident at any time and if you do, you need to know you are okay. Especially if you have a family, you need coverage. There is NO excuse for having tons of medical bills if you don't have insurance and could have.
2. Get life insurance
If you are single or childless this may not be a huge deal or necessity. But if you have children and/or are supporting your spouse, you must have it!! If you're single, it's still a good idea to have it to cover funeral costs, though you won't need as much coverage. $500,000 or more is a good idea so that all funeral costs are covered and a few years of living expenses. Remember that if you have children and someone dies (even if it's the stay-at-home parent), there will suddenly be daycare costs and other things you didn't have before, so you NEED it. We have $600,000 on Ben and $400,000 on me.
3. Save up at least $1000 in an emergency fund
This is how you avoid using credit cards for all those little things like your car suddenly needing repairs. You have an emergency fund and you have access to it whenever you really need it. The more you can save, the better, because we all know that sometimes, emergencies are expensive. REALLY expensive. If you don't have an emergency fund (and especially if you also have debt), you're asking for trouble.
4. Create a budget
Where is your money going? Get on a real budget and find out. Keep close track of your money so that you know where every dollar has gone. Most people are surprised to find how much they've really spent in some areas. With a budget, there are no surprises, and chances are you can find a little extra if you need to one month.
5. Reduce spending if necessary to live below your means and/or get another job
If looking at your budget shows that you're currently spending more than you earn (as most do in this country), work hard to reduce your spending so that you are spending LESS than you earn. If that is not possible, take a second job so you earn enough to cover your living expenses. You have to live within your means. If you don't, you're taking a huge gamble and could easily lose it all with just one unfortunate event.
6. Pay off debt: credit cards first, then car loans, then student loans, then mortgage
When your debt is paid off, your money is yours. You don't owe anyone, so if anything comes up, you have all the money you've earned to work with. Owing someone is not a position you want to be in, anyway. Look up what the Bible has to say about owing people money: it isn't pretty!
7. Save up for any future major purchases (cars, furniture, homes)
You will want to have nice stuff, of course. But you don't have to go in debt to do it. Save up money and put it in savings accounts, or CDs, or even other types of investments (depending on how long you have to save and how much the final purchase is). When you do buy the item, it's YOURS. Nothing can happen to it if you lose your job tomorrow. There's no worry over how you'll pay your debt if you don't have any. This is the responsible way to own nice things.
8. Invest for retirement and/or college
Don't expect the government to pay for your retirement (or college, of course). Save up the money and pay for it yourself. Invest your retirement money is high-yield, high-risk stocks if you are under 40; stick with a more conservative plan if you're older (and of course, seek out the advice of a qualified investment manager or stock broker or other expert, because I am not one). You can easily save up enough money to pay for college and get you through retirement easily.
Bonus:
9. Create a larger emergency fund (6 months of living expenses)
If you get laid off and have 6 months worth of living expenses saved up, you don't have to worry at all about finding another job (right away). You'll know that your family is taken care of and you don't even have to cut back at first. You will make that next mortgage payment (if you haven't paid it off), you will have food for your table and gas for your cars. You can put all your energy towards finding the perfect job, instead of worrying how you'll pay your bills.
10. Step up retirement investing
If you've got a large emergency fund, and all your debt paid, go ahead and put even more towards retirement. The worst that can happen is that you'll need it sooner than you've planned, but you don't have to completely deplete your savings to pay for whatever happened (i.e. medical emergency not covered by insurance -- but make sure you have insurance!!).
If you follow the steps above, you CAN live the American dream. Rely on God and yourself first and foremost; NOT your government or other people. Governments can have problems, economies can collapse, people can break promises. If you have insurance and savings and you are living below your means, you will always be safe, even as people around you who have debt and who are living outside their means suddenly feel hopeless when an unexpected financial crisis occurs.
This is just another in our series on personal responsibility.
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Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Car Seat Safety
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Friday, guest-hosted by Katie at Kitchen Stewardship!**
I have noticed that a lot of moms make mistakes when strapping their babies into their car seats. Since car seat safety can literally mean life or death for your baby, it's very important to strap your baby in properly!
1. Tighten the straps properly against your baby
You may find that you need to loosen the straps to get the baby out comfortably, but make SURE you pull the straps tight against your baby once you have him in the car seat again. The straps should be snug against the baby and you should be able to get only one finger between the strap and the baby's shoulders.
I have seen WAY too many parents with car seat straps that are extremely loose, enough to really slide around (I saw this TWICE just TODAY). If your baby's straps are too loose, a couple different things could happen. If they're really loose and the chest clip either isn't attached or is too low, the baby could actually FLY OUT OF THE SEAT! If the chest clip is in place, the baby could fly against the straps and possibly get whiplash. Loose straps DO NOT PROTECT your baby!
2. Install the car seat properly in the car
The car seat should be very tightly installed in a backseat, center position. The carseat must at least be in the backseat, or, if there is no other choice, in the front seat with the air bags turned OFF. If the air bags can't be turned off, the carseat must be in the back. The car seat should be able to move only 1" side to side (slightly further at the top of the seat is okay, but the base must not move more than that). The seatbelt should lock, or you can use the vehicle's LATCH system. If in doubt, take your seat to your local fire department and ask a certified child safety expert to install it properly and to teach you how for the future.
Note the car seat's position too. It should be angled properly, not leaning too far forward or backward. Climb into the seat and put all your weight on it when you're tightening it, and make sure the seat belt is locked. Using a locking clip if you need to, one should be provided with your car seat if it's needed.
3. Never add anything to your car seat under the straps except made by the manufacturer
If you purchase a different cover FROM THE MANUFACTURER that is made for your seat, this is fine. But carseat covers, car seat "jackets," strap protectors, etc. are NOT safe. They can invalidate your warranty and place your child at risk. Instead, you can place a blanket over the child once they're strapped in. Toys attached to the seat, which could come off in an accident and injure your child, are also not safe.
4. Do not put puffy coats on your children
This will prevent you from strapping in your children tightly enough to be safe. Instead, use light layers and a blanket over the straps. You can also bring the coat with you and put it on when you arrive where you're going.
5. Keep children rear facing as long as possible
All children should remain rear facing at an absolute MINIMUM until age 1 year AND 20 lbs. This is due to their development, not size. Better is 2 years or the weight limit of a convertible seat (and this is the new AAP recommendation). BEST is the limit of the seat, which is usually 35 - 40 lbs. Your child may be 3 - 4 years old before reaching this limit. Convertible seats are good because most babies are too tall or too heavy for infant seats before they reach 1 year, while convertible seats typically handle kids up to 35 lbs. and 36" or so rear-facing, and up to 40 - 65 lbs. and 48" forward facing. Some even handle kids up to 100 lbs.!
6. Choose the right car seat for your child's size.
Note that most infant seats can hold babies only up to 20 lbs. or 29". Some car seats hold only up to 26" and some as long as 32". Note what your car seat's limits are. If you choose to use an infant seat, make SURE you move your child to another (rear facing!!) seat if he outgrows it before age 1. It is unsafe and inappropriate to keep your child in a seat that is too small "just a little longer" because you want to buy only a toddler seat (not a good idea since they don't rear-face anyway) or because you don't have the money to buy another. You MUST have a proper seat. There is the Cosco Scenera for only about $50 that is a convertible seat. There are many more expensive and better seats but that one is fine if your budget is pressed.
7. Keep your child in a 5-point harness as long as possible -- up to age 8 or 65 lbs.
Keep your child in a 5-point harness as long as your seat allows. It doesn't matter if your child's friends are in just boosters at age 3 (not even legal in some states) or not in a car seat at all at age 5 (really just stupid, as adult belts do not fit young children or even really short adults properly). It doesn't matter if people think you are too careful or they make fun of your child. It is life or death if you are in an accident and children are safest in a 5-point harness. (So is everyone, for that matter.) Most children are required to at least be in a booster until they are age 8 and 80 lbs.
8. Secure the chest clip at the arm pit level (Thanks Sam!)
Many parent secure the chest clip too low, or not at all. This is a crucial part of keeping your baby safe! It could hurt your baby by digging into the stomach or ribs if it is too low, and it won't protect your baby at all if it's not clipped. Always remember to secure the chest clip and push it up to its proper position.
Car seat safety is no laughing matter. It is not something you can be lax about, or something that "doesn't really matter." Know how to work your car seat, have one that fits your car properly and fits your baby, and use it correctly. It could save your baby's life.
Resources:
Car Seat Safety
National Highway Traffic Safety
Car Seat Reviews
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Friday, guest-hosted by Katie at Kitchen Stewardship!**
I have noticed that a lot of moms make mistakes when strapping their babies into their car seats. Since car seat safety can literally mean life or death for your baby, it's very important to strap your baby in properly!
1. Tighten the straps properly against your baby
You may find that you need to loosen the straps to get the baby out comfortably, but make SURE you pull the straps tight against your baby once you have him in the car seat again. The straps should be snug against the baby and you should be able to get only one finger between the strap and the baby's shoulders.
I have seen WAY too many parents with car seat straps that are extremely loose, enough to really slide around (I saw this TWICE just TODAY). If your baby's straps are too loose, a couple different things could happen. If they're really loose and the chest clip either isn't attached or is too low, the baby could actually FLY OUT OF THE SEAT! If the chest clip is in place, the baby could fly against the straps and possibly get whiplash. Loose straps DO NOT PROTECT your baby!
2. Install the car seat properly in the car
The car seat should be very tightly installed in a backseat, center position. The carseat must at least be in the backseat, or, if there is no other choice, in the front seat with the air bags turned OFF. If the air bags can't be turned off, the carseat must be in the back. The car seat should be able to move only 1" side to side (slightly further at the top of the seat is okay, but the base must not move more than that). The seatbelt should lock, or you can use the vehicle's LATCH system. If in doubt, take your seat to your local fire department and ask a certified child safety expert to install it properly and to teach you how for the future.
Note the car seat's position too. It should be angled properly, not leaning too far forward or backward. Climb into the seat and put all your weight on it when you're tightening it, and make sure the seat belt is locked. Using a locking clip if you need to, one should be provided with your car seat if it's needed.
3. Never add anything to your car seat under the straps except made by the manufacturer
If you purchase a different cover FROM THE MANUFACTURER that is made for your seat, this is fine. But carseat covers, car seat "jackets," strap protectors, etc. are NOT safe. They can invalidate your warranty and place your child at risk. Instead, you can place a blanket over the child once they're strapped in. Toys attached to the seat, which could come off in an accident and injure your child, are also not safe.
4. Do not put puffy coats on your children
This will prevent you from strapping in your children tightly enough to be safe. Instead, use light layers and a blanket over the straps. You can also bring the coat with you and put it on when you arrive where you're going.
5. Keep children rear facing as long as possible
All children should remain rear facing at an absolute MINIMUM until age 1 year AND 20 lbs. This is due to their development, not size. Better is 2 years or the weight limit of a convertible seat (and this is the new AAP recommendation). BEST is the limit of the seat, which is usually 35 - 40 lbs. Your child may be 3 - 4 years old before reaching this limit. Convertible seats are good because most babies are too tall or too heavy for infant seats before they reach 1 year, while convertible seats typically handle kids up to 35 lbs. and 36" or so rear-facing, and up to 40 - 65 lbs. and 48" forward facing. Some even handle kids up to 100 lbs.!
6. Choose the right car seat for your child's size.
Note that most infant seats can hold babies only up to 20 lbs. or 29". Some car seats hold only up to 26" and some as long as 32". Note what your car seat's limits are. If you choose to use an infant seat, make SURE you move your child to another (rear facing!!) seat if he outgrows it before age 1. It is unsafe and inappropriate to keep your child in a seat that is too small "just a little longer" because you want to buy only a toddler seat (not a good idea since they don't rear-face anyway) or because you don't have the money to buy another. You MUST have a proper seat. There is the Cosco Scenera for only about $50 that is a convertible seat. There are many more expensive and better seats but that one is fine if your budget is pressed.
7. Keep your child in a 5-point harness as long as possible -- up to age 8 or 65 lbs.
Keep your child in a 5-point harness as long as your seat allows. It doesn't matter if your child's friends are in just boosters at age 3 (not even legal in some states) or not in a car seat at all at age 5 (really just stupid, as adult belts do not fit young children or even really short adults properly). It doesn't matter if people think you are too careful or they make fun of your child. It is life or death if you are in an accident and children are safest in a 5-point harness. (So is everyone, for that matter.) Most children are required to at least be in a booster until they are age 8 and 80 lbs.
8. Secure the chest clip at the arm pit level (Thanks Sam!)
Many parent secure the chest clip too low, or not at all. This is a crucial part of keeping your baby safe! It could hurt your baby by digging into the stomach or ribs if it is too low, and it won't protect your baby at all if it's not clipped. Always remember to secure the chest clip and push it up to its proper position.
Car seat safety is no laughing matter. It is not something you can be lax about, or something that "doesn't really matter." Know how to work your car seat, have one that fits your car properly and fits your baby, and use it correctly. It could save your baby's life.
Resources:
Car Seat Safety
National Highway Traffic Safety
Car Seat Reviews
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Following God's Plan
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Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
How we follow (or try to follow) God's plan in a world that doesn't understand.
Today I'm talking about God's plan. The first thing I should tell you is that while we TRY to follow God's plan as well as we can, we are by no means perfect! We slip up all the time and try to find our way again. We are not perfect at all.
What does it mean to follow God's plan? Obviously there are certain parts to God's plan that are easy to know (by reading the Bible), and certain parts that are not easy to know (through prayer and answers to prayer). Very quickly I want to talk about the "easy" parts, but mostly I want to focus on the not-so-easy parts.
If you spend any time in the Scripture, you know that God commands us to do several things. He commands us to love one another; not to kill; not to sin sexually (we'll discuss that further later); not to lie ("bear false witness"); and to worship Him. That is not a complete list, of course. Our ultimate goal is to love one another and to worship Him with every part of our lives. That means that although we are all sinners, we are to always strive to be closer to Him and to know more about Him. We need to try to do our best to be loving, giving, and as much like Jesus as we can. No one will ever measure up, but we are called to turn away from the world's ways (as "crazy" as some think that is) and towards Jesus's ways. This is not easy, but the Bible gives us guidelines on how to do it. To this end, I would encourage you to spend time in the Word to learn what it means to follow Jesus and as an encouragement to always do better. I, too, really need to spend more time in the Word. It is easy to be led astray by all of the demands of daily life, but God calls us to put Him first, not last.
I'm not saying this because I'm perfect. I often do the same as many others: know that I need to spend more time with God and not do it because I'm working on so many other projects. I do consider God all the time and think about how I can be more purposeful in areas of my life based on what He commands. But by no means do I spend nearly enough time in His Word or with Him in any way. :( That is sad to admit. I am hoping to get myself seriously together soon so that I will do more with it. I may issue a challenge to us all about this! Be prepared for that. :)
If you are spending time in the Word, or spending time praying and considering God's desires for your life, then you know the other side of following God's plan. God has a plan for each of us, and we don't necessarily know what it is. We can try to learn it through prayer and through always listening for God's answers. Sometimes it's very obvious, and other times it's not.
The other week, I desperately wanted to go out with friends. My kids were not feeling well and we'd had a long night and I was feeling frustrated. I knew that going out wasn't a good idea, yet I really, really wanted to do it anyway. So I pushed them to get ready, I did whatever it took. In the back of my head was the thought that maybe God didn't want me to go, because I really needed to put my kids first, not my own frustrations and desires. When everything was ready, I went to get the kids in the car -- and my garage door wouldn't open. I tried EVERYTHING, including unlocking it and opening manually. But no dice. I was forced to stay home. That afternoon, Ben came home and easily opened the garage. It was like God was saying, "If you're not going to do what's right for your kids, I'm going to make you do it." Sometimes it's really that obvious!
And, like that example, sometimes it's not what we want or what's comfortable for us. We may be given a job in another state at a time we don't want to move. We may be prevented from having a child when we desperately want one -- or given one when we're not ready. But all of these things happen because God wants them to.
Treat every event in your life -- good and bad -- as a blessing from God. A lot of times the bad is really a blessing in disguise. Or, sometimes it's an attempt by Satan to make you angry so that you will denounce God instead of praising Him. Continue to praise Him, and continue to pray to him, and try to listen to what He is telling you. He will let you know His plan in parts, and He will lead you in new directions.
Once, when my mother was a little girl, she and her sister wanted to go to a friend's to sleep over. There was no reason why they couldn't, but her mother felt uneasy and told them no. This was God telling her to keep her children with her. That night, there was a fire in her friend's home, and her friend died in that fire. My mother and her sister could easily have died too, had they gone to that sleepover that night.
Another time, a pastor we knew was a teenager and spent time in prayer. He felt God was tugging on him to spend his "extra" money to give to the church, rather than saving for prom like all of his friends. It was hard for him, but he gave his money to the church. On prom day, a close female friend of his called and said, "I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I need you to take me. The tickets are paid for, the tux is rented and it's just your size, dinner is paid for, and we have tickets to an amusement park for after prom. All you have to do is show up." In this case, he was rewarded for following God's plan for him!
God does reward us for following His plan in many amazing ways. He blesses us in ways that make absolutely no sense by the world's standards. And for that reason, I encourage you to always prayerfully consider any decision you make, and to include God in your life all the time. He will guide you if you let Him, and He will bless you if you let Him.
At every time in your life, you will be working on something different. It all depends on what God is calling you to do at that time. God will lay something on your heart that you need to work on. Right now, God is laying it on my heart to work on grace -- understanding it and extending it to others. I don't know where God will take me next. More details about what I'm working on personally will be coming up in future blog posts.
What is God working on in your life? How do you follow His plan?
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
How we follow (or try to follow) God's plan in a world that doesn't understand.
Today I'm talking about God's plan. The first thing I should tell you is that while we TRY to follow God's plan as well as we can, we are by no means perfect! We slip up all the time and try to find our way again. We are not perfect at all.
What does it mean to follow God's plan? Obviously there are certain parts to God's plan that are easy to know (by reading the Bible), and certain parts that are not easy to know (through prayer and answers to prayer). Very quickly I want to talk about the "easy" parts, but mostly I want to focus on the not-so-easy parts.
If you spend any time in the Scripture, you know that God commands us to do several things. He commands us to love one another; not to kill; not to sin sexually (we'll discuss that further later); not to lie ("bear false witness"); and to worship Him. That is not a complete list, of course. Our ultimate goal is to love one another and to worship Him with every part of our lives. That means that although we are all sinners, we are to always strive to be closer to Him and to know more about Him. We need to try to do our best to be loving, giving, and as much like Jesus as we can. No one will ever measure up, but we are called to turn away from the world's ways (as "crazy" as some think that is) and towards Jesus's ways. This is not easy, but the Bible gives us guidelines on how to do it. To this end, I would encourage you to spend time in the Word to learn what it means to follow Jesus and as an encouragement to always do better. I, too, really need to spend more time in the Word. It is easy to be led astray by all of the demands of daily life, but God calls us to put Him first, not last.
I'm not saying this because I'm perfect. I often do the same as many others: know that I need to spend more time with God and not do it because I'm working on so many other projects. I do consider God all the time and think about how I can be more purposeful in areas of my life based on what He commands. But by no means do I spend nearly enough time in His Word or with Him in any way. :( That is sad to admit. I am hoping to get myself seriously together soon so that I will do more with it. I may issue a challenge to us all about this! Be prepared for that. :)
If you are spending time in the Word, or spending time praying and considering God's desires for your life, then you know the other side of following God's plan. God has a plan for each of us, and we don't necessarily know what it is. We can try to learn it through prayer and through always listening for God's answers. Sometimes it's very obvious, and other times it's not.
The other week, I desperately wanted to go out with friends. My kids were not feeling well and we'd had a long night and I was feeling frustrated. I knew that going out wasn't a good idea, yet I really, really wanted to do it anyway. So I pushed them to get ready, I did whatever it took. In the back of my head was the thought that maybe God didn't want me to go, because I really needed to put my kids first, not my own frustrations and desires. When everything was ready, I went to get the kids in the car -- and my garage door wouldn't open. I tried EVERYTHING, including unlocking it and opening manually. But no dice. I was forced to stay home. That afternoon, Ben came home and easily opened the garage. It was like God was saying, "If you're not going to do what's right for your kids, I'm going to make you do it." Sometimes it's really that obvious!
And, like that example, sometimes it's not what we want or what's comfortable for us. We may be given a job in another state at a time we don't want to move. We may be prevented from having a child when we desperately want one -- or given one when we're not ready. But all of these things happen because God wants them to.
Treat every event in your life -- good and bad -- as a blessing from God. A lot of times the bad is really a blessing in disguise. Or, sometimes it's an attempt by Satan to make you angry so that you will denounce God instead of praising Him. Continue to praise Him, and continue to pray to him, and try to listen to what He is telling you. He will let you know His plan in parts, and He will lead you in new directions.
Once, when my mother was a little girl, she and her sister wanted to go to a friend's to sleep over. There was no reason why they couldn't, but her mother felt uneasy and told them no. This was God telling her to keep her children with her. That night, there was a fire in her friend's home, and her friend died in that fire. My mother and her sister could easily have died too, had they gone to that sleepover that night.
Another time, a pastor we knew was a teenager and spent time in prayer. He felt God was tugging on him to spend his "extra" money to give to the church, rather than saving for prom like all of his friends. It was hard for him, but he gave his money to the church. On prom day, a close female friend of his called and said, "I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I need you to take me. The tickets are paid for, the tux is rented and it's just your size, dinner is paid for, and we have tickets to an amusement park for after prom. All you have to do is show up." In this case, he was rewarded for following God's plan for him!
God does reward us for following His plan in many amazing ways. He blesses us in ways that make absolutely no sense by the world's standards. And for that reason, I encourage you to always prayerfully consider any decision you make, and to include God in your life all the time. He will guide you if you let Him, and He will bless you if you let Him.
At every time in your life, you will be working on something different. It all depends on what God is calling you to do at that time. God will lay something on your heart that you need to work on. Right now, God is laying it on my heart to work on grace -- understanding it and extending it to others. I don't know where God will take me next. More details about what I'm working on personally will be coming up in future blog posts.
What is God working on in your life? How do you follow His plan?
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Beef with Tomato and Zucchini
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Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
When I was faced with the necessity of cutting grains out of my diet recently, I had to become more creative in what I cooked. This recipe was born of necessity. If you're not grain-free, you could serve it with some pasta as a sauce. If you are, it's great just by itself. :)
Ingredients:
1 lb. grass-fed ground beef
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 c. chopped tomatoes or strained tomatoes
1 zucchini, chopped
1/2 tsp. basil
1 tsp. sea salt
Directions:
Heat olive oil in a large pan. Add garlic, zucchini and beef. Cook until beef is browned. Add tomatoes and spices. Cook until zucchini is soft and flavors are mixed, 10 - 15 min. Serve by itself or over pasta.
*I personally like it better with chopped tomatoes, and even if I use strained tomatoes (I haven't found chopped tomatoes in glass jars yet and the flavor of the raw tomatoes isn't quite the same) I will usually add some fresh tomatoes too. I think, though, if you were using it as a sauce, you would prefer strained tomatoes. It is VERY thick and meaty but that is the point; it can be a meal in itself! Would go great with a nice salad too.
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
When I was faced with the necessity of cutting grains out of my diet recently, I had to become more creative in what I cooked. This recipe was born of necessity. If you're not grain-free, you could serve it with some pasta as a sauce. If you are, it's great just by itself. :)
Ingredients:
1 lb. grass-fed ground beef
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 c. chopped tomatoes or strained tomatoes
1 zucchini, chopped
1/2 tsp. basil
1 tsp. sea salt
Directions:
Heat olive oil in a large pan. Add garlic, zucchini and beef. Cook until beef is browned. Add tomatoes and spices. Cook until zucchini is soft and flavors are mixed, 10 - 15 min. Serve by itself or over pasta.
*I personally like it better with chopped tomatoes, and even if I use strained tomatoes (I haven't found chopped tomatoes in glass jars yet and the flavor of the raw tomatoes isn't quite the same) I will usually add some fresh tomatoes too. I think, though, if you were using it as a sauce, you would prefer strained tomatoes. It is VERY thick and meaty but that is the point; it can be a meal in itself! Would go great with a nice salad too.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Chore Chart Organization
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**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at The Diaper Diaries!**
Starting the new year, I really needed an organizational system for cleaning my house. Over the past few years, I have worked hard to create some systems. I started doing laundry on the same day each week (which has changed several times because I haven't always kept it together), I tried to do dishes daily, I started changing the sheets weekly, and I got my meal planning and grocery shopping together. But I knew there were still a lot of chores slipping through my fingers. Stuff I should really do every week or so that I was remembering every month or so....
Enter a chore chart.
I sat down and wrote out all the things that I needed to do. Some were daily (dishes, picking up toys, etc.) and some were weekly (laundry, vacuuming, etc.). Then I assigned each to their own day, with the daily chores at the top.
One of my big problems has always been that I LOVE having things done in advance so that when it comes time to do something (especially if I have to go somewhere), I can just do it. No preparation. But I've never been good at keeping the system running. I thought about this when I was creating my chore chart, too.
I also thought about my organizational system. I needed to make sure I had everything organized in such a way that doing my chore chart would be easy. After all, I wanted to keep my house clean and neat but I didn't have ALL DAY to do it. Not with two busy, demanding kids.
So here is my chore chart information:
Daily Chores
*All toys picked up in playroom
*Kitchen table cleared off
*Dishes done
*All diapers put in their dirty bags (or washed and stacked on the changing table)
*All mail sorted through and put away (or shredded, thrown out, etc.)
*Kids' rooms picked up
Monday
*Clean out and pack the diaper bag (dry snacks, one clean outfit per kid, two clean diapers per kid, extra wipes and solution, blanket, small wet bag)
*Clean bathrooms (wipe down counters and mirrors, sinks, clean toilets; showers if necessary)
Tuesday
*Sweep and mop kitchen floor
*Take out all trash (including all bedrooms and bathrooms)
Wednesday
*All laundry (washed, dried, folded, put away.... It says this because I had a habit of washing and drying but not folding or putting away!)
Thursday
*Change all sheets on beds and towels in bathrooms
*Write meal plan/grocery list (every other week)
Friday
*Grocery shopping (on the weeks I don't shop, my parents visit, so I didn't put any other chores this day)
Saturday
*Vacuum all rooms
*Dust as necessary
Sunday
*Prepare for the week (cook breakfasts, lunches, prepare snacks)
This chore list is posted on my fridge so I can refer to it often. I take it seriously and make sure to get it done everyday. If my chores aren't done by dinner time, I'll stop whatever else I'm doing to make sure that I do finish them. The "weekly" chores only take up about 30 minutes of my time per day (except laundry), and the daily chores are just kind of part of my routine. Most of my time is free to play with my kids or work on other projects.
But, and this is very important, here is my priority list:
1) Take care of my kids and husband
2) Prepare healthy meals for my family
3) Complete my daily and weekly chores
4) Anything else I would like to do
And that's in order. If I only get through 1, 2 and 3...my day is successful and I feel good. If we're having a bad day (someone's sick, etc.) and I only get through 1, my day is still successful. I won't feel guilty or behind if I don't get to any of the extra stuff.
Usually though, I do my chores with Bekah's help while Daniel takes his morning nap. Or I'll do some after Ben gets home and he's playing with the kids. Then I'll spend time during their naps working on FUN things like this blog (yes, they're napping as I write :) ). I also am working on sewing diapers for a friend and doing some research for a major project right now, and I do those when they're napping or in bed, or if I've played with them and they've decided to go play quietly on their own.
I'll give you a few more notes on my organizational system:
*My diaper bag is stored either in my car, or in my front hall closet. It's out of the way but within easy reach of both front and garage doors.
*I keep a sponge in each bathroom, as well as a box of baking soda to clean with
*I have one bottle of toilet cleaner and one brush (really should have 3), and I go through the house, putting cleaner in each toilet. Then I go back to the first one and brush it, then the second, etc.
*I keep a laundry basket in each of my kids' rooms, my upstairs bathroom, my kitchen, and three in my room (white, colored - warm, colored - cold). Each basket gets washed as is, so no sorting is necessary on laundry day, and laundry automatically makes it back to the correct room, where it's folded and put away.
*I keep a wet bag in each of my kids' rooms as well, and diapers get washed every 3 - 4 days as needed.
*I do other little chores (like making more chicken stock, soaking beans, etc.) as necessary through out the week. My meal plan is also on my fridge, for this reason.
*I have a large wall calendar where we write all our appointments (including fun things, like mom's night out). If they're not written there, they don't get done.
Can you tell I like to have my stuff right out in front of me? Everything I'll need to refer to frequently -- weekly appointments, meal plan, and chore chart -- are right in the kitchen where I can easily look at it. Some people like to keep appointment books or computer-based lists, but not me. I need it RIGHT THERE when I don't remember what needs done next. It's pretty simple to glance at the meal plan when I'm getting a glass of water and say "Oh, I need to take meat out to thaw for tonight's dinner."
What is your organizational system? How do you make sure your chores get done (or do you)? (If you don't, don't feel bad, I didn't for years. This is a new system!)
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at The Diaper Diaries!**
Starting the new year, I really needed an organizational system for cleaning my house. Over the past few years, I have worked hard to create some systems. I started doing laundry on the same day each week (which has changed several times because I haven't always kept it together), I tried to do dishes daily, I started changing the sheets weekly, and I got my meal planning and grocery shopping together. But I knew there were still a lot of chores slipping through my fingers. Stuff I should really do every week or so that I was remembering every month or so....
Enter a chore chart.
I sat down and wrote out all the things that I needed to do. Some were daily (dishes, picking up toys, etc.) and some were weekly (laundry, vacuuming, etc.). Then I assigned each to their own day, with the daily chores at the top.
One of my big problems has always been that I LOVE having things done in advance so that when it comes time to do something (especially if I have to go somewhere), I can just do it. No preparation. But I've never been good at keeping the system running. I thought about this when I was creating my chore chart, too.
I also thought about my organizational system. I needed to make sure I had everything organized in such a way that doing my chore chart would be easy. After all, I wanted to keep my house clean and neat but I didn't have ALL DAY to do it. Not with two busy, demanding kids.
So here is my chore chart information:
Daily Chores
*All toys picked up in playroom
*Kitchen table cleared off
*Dishes done
*All diapers put in their dirty bags (or washed and stacked on the changing table)
*All mail sorted through and put away (or shredded, thrown out, etc.)
*Kids' rooms picked up
Monday
*Clean out and pack the diaper bag (dry snacks, one clean outfit per kid, two clean diapers per kid, extra wipes and solution, blanket, small wet bag)
*Clean bathrooms (wipe down counters and mirrors, sinks, clean toilets; showers if necessary)
Tuesday
*Sweep and mop kitchen floor
*Take out all trash (including all bedrooms and bathrooms)
Wednesday
*All laundry (washed, dried, folded, put away.... It says this because I had a habit of washing and drying but not folding or putting away!)
Thursday
*Change all sheets on beds and towels in bathrooms
*Write meal plan/grocery list (every other week)
Friday
*Grocery shopping (on the weeks I don't shop, my parents visit, so I didn't put any other chores this day)
Saturday
*Vacuum all rooms
*Dust as necessary
Sunday
*Prepare for the week (cook breakfasts, lunches, prepare snacks)
This chore list is posted on my fridge so I can refer to it often. I take it seriously and make sure to get it done everyday. If my chores aren't done by dinner time, I'll stop whatever else I'm doing to make sure that I do finish them. The "weekly" chores only take up about 30 minutes of my time per day (except laundry), and the daily chores are just kind of part of my routine. Most of my time is free to play with my kids or work on other projects.
But, and this is very important, here is my priority list:
1) Take care of my kids and husband
2) Prepare healthy meals for my family
3) Complete my daily and weekly chores
4) Anything else I would like to do
And that's in order. If I only get through 1, 2 and 3...my day is successful and I feel good. If we're having a bad day (someone's sick, etc.) and I only get through 1, my day is still successful. I won't feel guilty or behind if I don't get to any of the extra stuff.
Usually though, I do my chores with Bekah's help while Daniel takes his morning nap. Or I'll do some after Ben gets home and he's playing with the kids. Then I'll spend time during their naps working on FUN things like this blog (yes, they're napping as I write :) ). I also am working on sewing diapers for a friend and doing some research for a major project right now, and I do those when they're napping or in bed, or if I've played with them and they've decided to go play quietly on their own.
I'll give you a few more notes on my organizational system:
*My diaper bag is stored either in my car, or in my front hall closet. It's out of the way but within easy reach of both front and garage doors.
*I keep a sponge in each bathroom, as well as a box of baking soda to clean with
*I have one bottle of toilet cleaner and one brush (really should have 3), and I go through the house, putting cleaner in each toilet. Then I go back to the first one and brush it, then the second, etc.
*I keep a laundry basket in each of my kids' rooms, my upstairs bathroom, my kitchen, and three in my room (white, colored - warm, colored - cold). Each basket gets washed as is, so no sorting is necessary on laundry day, and laundry automatically makes it back to the correct room, where it's folded and put away.
*I keep a wet bag in each of my kids' rooms as well, and diapers get washed every 3 - 4 days as needed.
*I do other little chores (like making more chicken stock, soaking beans, etc.) as necessary through out the week. My meal plan is also on my fridge, for this reason.
*I have a large wall calendar where we write all our appointments (including fun things, like mom's night out). If they're not written there, they don't get done.
Can you tell I like to have my stuff right out in front of me? Everything I'll need to refer to frequently -- weekly appointments, meal plan, and chore chart -- are right in the kitchen where I can easily look at it. Some people like to keep appointment books or computer-based lists, but not me. I need it RIGHT THERE when I don't remember what needs done next. It's pretty simple to glance at the meal plan when I'm getting a glass of water and say "Oh, I need to take meat out to thaw for tonight's dinner."
What is your organizational system? How do you make sure your chores get done (or do you)? (If you don't, don't feel bad, I didn't for years. This is a new system!)
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Health News Tuesday: Slow Aging, Chemicals in Your Home, and more
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Health News Tuesday!
Believe it or not, this is my THIRD attempt to write this blog post. Firefox keeps crashing and even though it's supposed to autosave, it hasn't. :( I'm rather unhappy about this.
Moving on. If you have a link to share, add it in the comments section and I will add it manually to the main post later.
Fish Oil Slows Aging
New research shows that fish oil helps to slow the aging process.
Whole Foods Launches Health Initiative
Whole Foods Markets are launching new programs to promote health, including classes for the public and extra discounts for employees with certain health measures (lower BMI, non-smoking, etc.).
Over 300 Pollutants in Drinking Water
Do you know what's in your water? The answer may surprise you.
CDC: 1 in 5 Teens Has Bad Cholesterol
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 teens has bad cholesterol. They are recommending testing as early as age 2 and statins as early as age 8, which is absolutely criminal. Cholesterol is only mildly related to heart disease in the first place, and dietary cholesterol (naturally occurring, non-oxidized) typically doesn't cause high cholesterol anyway.
Medical Students Believe in Alternative Therapies
A new study says that most medical students (over 70%) believe that alternative medicine should be integrated in Western medicine, and that they would like more training in alternative medicine.
Fight Back Against GMOs in Our Food Supply
An opinion piece of the detrimental affect of GMOs in our food. Monsanto and conventional farming are ruining our earth and poisoning us!
Bacteria in Gut Shown to Reduce Obesity
As people age, their gut bacteria shifts, and this has been associated with increased weight. Gut bacteria may do more than just keep us healthy -- it may help us maintain proper body weight.
This Common Food Ingredient Can Really Mess up your Metabolism
Sugar!! Read all the ways it's harmful. Then, go over to Naturally Knocked Up and read about doing a no-sugar challenge (Donielle is almost 2 weeks into it, I believe).
Household Chemicals Linked to Reduced Fertility
Be careful about what's in your home: it could lead to infertility issues. Flame-retardant chemicals are blamed for this problem. You should avoid them at ALL costs. What is really more dangerous, breathing in these chemicals daily over a long period of time, or the very, very tiny chance that you could have a house fire and somehow be trapped in or under something flammable? Buy only organic mattresses and children's clothing if at all possible to avoid these chemicals!
Low Carb Diets Better for Blood Pressure
Grains ARE bad for you! Low-carb diets help to keep your blood pressure lower, and have proven better than weight loss drugs. More on this coming up, but you can also read more about this at Naturally Knocked Up, Keeper of the Home, and other blogs.
Carnival Blog Links
1. You're first!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Health News Tuesday!
Believe it or not, this is my THIRD attempt to write this blog post. Firefox keeps crashing and even though it's supposed to autosave, it hasn't. :( I'm rather unhappy about this.
Moving on. If you have a link to share, add it in the comments section and I will add it manually to the main post later.
Fish Oil Slows Aging
New research shows that fish oil helps to slow the aging process.
Whole Foods Launches Health Initiative
Whole Foods Markets are launching new programs to promote health, including classes for the public and extra discounts for employees with certain health measures (lower BMI, non-smoking, etc.).
Over 300 Pollutants in Drinking Water
Do you know what's in your water? The answer may surprise you.
CDC: 1 in 5 Teens Has Bad Cholesterol
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 teens has bad cholesterol. They are recommending testing as early as age 2 and statins as early as age 8, which is absolutely criminal. Cholesterol is only mildly related to heart disease in the first place, and dietary cholesterol (naturally occurring, non-oxidized) typically doesn't cause high cholesterol anyway.
Medical Students Believe in Alternative Therapies
A new study says that most medical students (over 70%) believe that alternative medicine should be integrated in Western medicine, and that they would like more training in alternative medicine.
Fight Back Against GMOs in Our Food Supply
An opinion piece of the detrimental affect of GMOs in our food. Monsanto and conventional farming are ruining our earth and poisoning us!
Bacteria in Gut Shown to Reduce Obesity
As people age, their gut bacteria shifts, and this has been associated with increased weight. Gut bacteria may do more than just keep us healthy -- it may help us maintain proper body weight.
This Common Food Ingredient Can Really Mess up your Metabolism
Sugar!! Read all the ways it's harmful. Then, go over to Naturally Knocked Up and read about doing a no-sugar challenge (Donielle is almost 2 weeks into it, I believe).
Household Chemicals Linked to Reduced Fertility
Be careful about what's in your home: it could lead to infertility issues. Flame-retardant chemicals are blamed for this problem. You should avoid them at ALL costs. What is really more dangerous, breathing in these chemicals daily over a long period of time, or the very, very tiny chance that you could have a house fire and somehow be trapped in or under something flammable? Buy only organic mattresses and children's clothing if at all possible to avoid these chemicals!
Low Carb Diets Better for Blood Pressure
Grains ARE bad for you! Low-carb diets help to keep your blood pressure lower, and have proven better than weight loss drugs. More on this coming up, but you can also read more about this at Naturally Knocked Up, Keeper of the Home, and other blogs.
Carnival Blog Links
1. You're first!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Happy Birthday Bekah!
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Happy Birthday to my sweet girl! Rebekah Christine is 2! (1/26/08)
This past weekend, we had a quiet little birthday party with grandparents. She got several very cute presents, including a new puzzle, a book, a little car that goes if pushed (continues moving by friction), and a purse filled with lots of cool stuff like jewelry (she LOVES jewelry!). She also got some super dark chocolate (72% pure cacao) and I think that was her favorite! We only let her have one piece since she's not really supposed to have sugar. Although it doesn't have much.
On her birthday afternoon, I will be taking her shopping, just the two of us, and she'll get to pick out a new outfit. She loves clothes too!
Hard to believe it's been 2 years already!
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Happy Birthday to my sweet girl! Rebekah Christine is 2! (1/26/08)
This past weekend, we had a quiet little birthday party with grandparents. She got several very cute presents, including a new puzzle, a book, a little car that goes if pushed (continues moving by friction), and a purse filled with lots of cool stuff like jewelry (she LOVES jewelry!). She also got some super dark chocolate (72% pure cacao) and I think that was her favorite! We only let her have one piece since she's not really supposed to have sugar. Although it doesn't have much.
On her birthday afternoon, I will be taking her shopping, just the two of us, and she'll get to pick out a new outfit. She loves clothes too!
Hard to believe it's been 2 years already!
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Reader Survey
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Hello, dear readers!
Recently, several other bloggers that I follow did a reader survey, where they asked several questions of their readers to see who was reading and to get a better idea of how they could serve their reader base. I thought, you know, I should probably do the same. Traffic is increasing QUICKLY here. Visits are up 32% over December, and pageviews are up 26%. And we have another week yet in January! December's hits were up 60% over November and we're about on track to do that again.
So, with all those new people coming, I'd love to know more about you! Fill out my reader survey at your leisure. Pretty please? I'll post the results in a couple weeks, so that you can all know who is reading along with you! Thanks!
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Hello, dear readers!
Recently, several other bloggers that I follow did a reader survey, where they asked several questions of their readers to see who was reading and to get a better idea of how they could serve their reader base. I thought, you know, I should probably do the same. Traffic is increasing QUICKLY here. Visits are up 32% over December, and pageviews are up 26%. And we have another week yet in January! December's hits were up 60% over November and we're about on track to do that again.
So, with all those new people coming, I'd love to know more about you! Fill out my reader survey at your leisure. Pretty please? I'll post the results in a couple weeks, so that you can all know who is reading along with you! Thanks!
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Cloth Around the House
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**This post has been entered in Works for Me Wednesdays at We are THAT Family and Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**
I've mentioned in other blogs that another way to save money is to use cloth instead of paper towels, toilet paper, and other products around the house. But WHY?
First, you can use cloth around the house to replace these products:
*Paper towels
*Toilet paper
*Tissues
*Napkins
*Disposable "dish cloths" (made from really cheap fabric for only a few uses)
It might seem weird or gross to you to use these items. But think about all of this:
*In a fancy restaurant, you use cloth napkins. Which have been washed many times and used by tons of strangers! But this is considered upscale, not gross. Why not do the same at home?
*50 years ago, handkerchiefs were the norm, not Kleenex. We can still use them, just make sure to wash after use so bacteria can't grow (I've never had a problem though).
*Dishcloths are only breeding grounds for bacteria if you ball them up and leave them wet. Spread them out and let them dry and there's no problem!
*Un-paper towels are meant for one use (typically) before washing, so there's no mess to spread around and no time for them to get yucky!
*Family cloth (i.e. "toilet paper") can be thrown into the wash with cloth diapers if you use them, or with dirty bath towels if you don't (meaning no additional washes, and it doesn't have to touch your clothes or anything).
There really is a significant environmental savings to be had here. First, there's all that paper you're not using. The soft, cushy toilet paper that most consumers demand is 100% new wood pulp, causing a serious deforestation problem. An average tree can be made into up to 1000 rolls, and the average family of 4 requires 100 rolls per year. Toilet paper also can't be recycled (although it CAN be made from recycled material, thus saving trees initially AND saving that paper from going into a landfill). The making of toilet paper is a serious problem, and causes more ecological impact than driving SUVs or eating fast food. According to this source, we could save 470,000 trees, 1.2 million feet of cubic landfill space, and 169 million gallons of water if everyone in the US traded one roll of regular toilet paper for a recycled roll. Since the average American uses about 24 rolls per year, if we switched to ONLY recycled paper, we could save 11,280,000 trees, 28.8 million feet of cubic landfill space, and 4 BILLION gallons of water PER YEAR!!
Toilet Paper World also says this:
In the early 1970s, an EPA study for Congress concluded that using one ton of 100% recycled paper saves 4,100 KWH of energy (enough to power the average home for six months) and 7,000 gallons of water. It also keeps more than 60 pounds of pollution out of the air and saves 3.3 cubic yards of landfill space, which is increasingly important as many local landfills near their capacity. Paper industry representatives have estimated that one-ton of recycled paper saves approximately 17 trees.
This is a HUGE deal, everyone! The environmental impact of toilet paper isn't just what happens once it's used and flushed. It's what happens when it's produced! We could save even MORE by not using any toilet paper at all, but we need to at least use 100% recycled!
There is also the harmful effects of the bleach used to produce the white toilet paper that most people typically use and want. According to Pollution Issues, "Between 50 and 80kg of chlorine is needed to bleach each tonne of pulp of which approximately 10% will go on to bind with organic matter to produce furans, dioxins and other organochlorines." That's bad for the environment, and bad to press against your very absorbent skin!
Annual cost of toilet paper is around $140 (for a family of 4). If you make your own wipes, it'll cost about $12 to make 30 2-layer, 8 x 8 flannel wipes. That's a HUGE savings just in the first year.
Approximately 3000 tons of used paper towels end up landfills each year! That is a lot. Using cloth can help to stop that. It'll also save you a lot of money. The average household uses about 2 rolls of paper towels per week, and with costs around $1/roll, that's $100 per year. Cloth shouldn't cost more than $10 to buy, and probably less to make.
I could keep convincing you about the environmental impact, but as you can see, it's huge. Most paper products are produced in a similar way and we, as Americans, use WAY too many of them. The easiest and best thing to do is to make your own cloth to use at home. Here are some (mostly no-sew) ideas for doing it yourself:
*Cut up old terry cloth towels in 8 x 8 squares to use as rags, toilet "paper," etc. No hemming necessary.
*Cut up old beach towels to use as napkins
*Cut old sheets
*Buy flannel and sew it together (right sides together), leaving a small part unsewn. Then turn it and sew it closed.
*Cut any fabric and "hem" the edges with an iron and finishing tape
You can also buy these re-usable items at various stores. Many good (and reasonably-priced) items are on Etsy.
We've replaced some our tissues with cloth, and I've used cloth "toilet paper" before (right after Daniel was born). It was a LOT softer. I really preferred the cloth. I've used cloth instead of paper towels too and it's fine -- I keep a laundry basket in my kitchen so I can toss used ones there along with my kitchen towels (and downstairs bathroom towels). They get washed every couple of weeks. Bathroom wipes go in a special bag then get tossed in with diapers or bath towels. If they don't have their own wash, then they really don't increase water usage at all.
I thought up a great kitchen project (a year ago, that I have yet to try): making 12 x 12 cloth towels, and making it so they can snap together and get rolled up! Of course, you can just set your towels in a small basket, they don't really need to get rolled, but it would be kind of cool.
Finally, since I haven't tried everything myself, I've provided some resources from people (mainly other bloggers) who have tried this cloth in their homes.
Resources:
Going Green with Family Cloth (in the bathroom)
Family Wipe Experiment
Family Cloth
Benefits of Cloth Wipes
Cloth Napkins
Un-paper Towels
Did you learn anything new about the environmental impact of disposable items (I did!). Will you consider changing some of your family's habits?
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Works for Me Wednesdays at We are THAT Family and Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**
I've mentioned in other blogs that another way to save money is to use cloth instead of paper towels, toilet paper, and other products around the house. But WHY?
First, you can use cloth around the house to replace these products:
*Paper towels
*Toilet paper
*Tissues
*Napkins
*Disposable "dish cloths" (made from really cheap fabric for only a few uses)
It might seem weird or gross to you to use these items. But think about all of this:
*In a fancy restaurant, you use cloth napkins. Which have been washed many times and used by tons of strangers! But this is considered upscale, not gross. Why not do the same at home?
*50 years ago, handkerchiefs were the norm, not Kleenex. We can still use them, just make sure to wash after use so bacteria can't grow (I've never had a problem though).
*Dishcloths are only breeding grounds for bacteria if you ball them up and leave them wet. Spread them out and let them dry and there's no problem!
*Un-paper towels are meant for one use (typically) before washing, so there's no mess to spread around and no time for them to get yucky!
*Family cloth (i.e. "toilet paper") can be thrown into the wash with cloth diapers if you use them, or with dirty bath towels if you don't (meaning no additional washes, and it doesn't have to touch your clothes or anything).
There really is a significant environmental savings to be had here. First, there's all that paper you're not using. The soft, cushy toilet paper that most consumers demand is 100% new wood pulp, causing a serious deforestation problem. An average tree can be made into up to 1000 rolls, and the average family of 4 requires 100 rolls per year. Toilet paper also can't be recycled (although it CAN be made from recycled material, thus saving trees initially AND saving that paper from going into a landfill). The making of toilet paper is a serious problem, and causes more ecological impact than driving SUVs or eating fast food. According to this source, we could save 470,000 trees, 1.2 million feet of cubic landfill space, and 169 million gallons of water if everyone in the US traded one roll of regular toilet paper for a recycled roll. Since the average American uses about 24 rolls per year, if we switched to ONLY recycled paper, we could save 11,280,000 trees, 28.8 million feet of cubic landfill space, and 4 BILLION gallons of water PER YEAR!!
Toilet Paper World also says this:
In the early 1970s, an EPA study for Congress concluded that using one ton of 100% recycled paper saves 4,100 KWH of energy (enough to power the average home for six months) and 7,000 gallons of water. It also keeps more than 60 pounds of pollution out of the air and saves 3.3 cubic yards of landfill space, which is increasingly important as many local landfills near their capacity. Paper industry representatives have estimated that one-ton of recycled paper saves approximately 17 trees.
This is a HUGE deal, everyone! The environmental impact of toilet paper isn't just what happens once it's used and flushed. It's what happens when it's produced! We could save even MORE by not using any toilet paper at all, but we need to at least use 100% recycled!
There is also the harmful effects of the bleach used to produce the white toilet paper that most people typically use and want. According to Pollution Issues, "Between 50 and 80kg of chlorine is needed to bleach each tonne of pulp of which approximately 10% will go on to bind with organic matter to produce furans, dioxins and other organochlorines." That's bad for the environment, and bad to press against your very absorbent skin!
Annual cost of toilet paper is around $140 (for a family of 4). If you make your own wipes, it'll cost about $12 to make 30 2-layer, 8 x 8 flannel wipes. That's a HUGE savings just in the first year.
Approximately 3000 tons of used paper towels end up landfills each year! That is a lot. Using cloth can help to stop that. It'll also save you a lot of money. The average household uses about 2 rolls of paper towels per week, and with costs around $1/roll, that's $100 per year. Cloth shouldn't cost more than $10 to buy, and probably less to make.
I could keep convincing you about the environmental impact, but as you can see, it's huge. Most paper products are produced in a similar way and we, as Americans, use WAY too many of them. The easiest and best thing to do is to make your own cloth to use at home. Here are some (mostly no-sew) ideas for doing it yourself:
*Cut up old terry cloth towels in 8 x 8 squares to use as rags, toilet "paper," etc. No hemming necessary.
*Cut up old beach towels to use as napkins
*Cut old sheets
*Buy flannel and sew it together (right sides together), leaving a small part unsewn. Then turn it and sew it closed.
*Cut any fabric and "hem" the edges with an iron and finishing tape
You can also buy these re-usable items at various stores. Many good (and reasonably-priced) items are on Etsy.
We've replaced some our tissues with cloth, and I've used cloth "toilet paper" before (right after Daniel was born). It was a LOT softer. I really preferred the cloth. I've used cloth instead of paper towels too and it's fine -- I keep a laundry basket in my kitchen so I can toss used ones there along with my kitchen towels (and downstairs bathroom towels). They get washed every couple of weeks. Bathroom wipes go in a special bag then get tossed in with diapers or bath towels. If they don't have their own wash, then they really don't increase water usage at all.
I thought up a great kitchen project (a year ago, that I have yet to try): making 12 x 12 cloth towels, and making it so they can snap together and get rolled up! Of course, you can just set your towels in a small basket, they don't really need to get rolled, but it would be kind of cool.
Finally, since I haven't tried everything myself, I've provided some resources from people (mainly other bloggers) who have tried this cloth in their homes.
Resources:
Going Green with Family Cloth (in the bathroom)
Family Wipe Experiment
Family Cloth
Benefits of Cloth Wipes
Cloth Napkins
Un-paper Towels
Did you learn anything new about the environmental impact of disposable items (I did!). Will you consider changing some of your family's habits?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Muscle Testing and Yeast-Free Diets
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Recently, we have undergone some muscle testing to check for our allergies. Ben, Bekah and I were all tested. First I want to explain what muscle testing is and who performs it.
There are different types of doctors who do muscle testing -- Eastern medicine practitioners. So acupuncturists, NAET (Nambudripid Allergy Elimination Technique), sometimes massage therapists. This is because the theory behind muscle testing has to do with the electromagnetic fields that surround everyone and everything. Each person and item has their own electromagnetic field. Some work together well; others clash. The idea is that if you are allergic to a food or experiencing discomfort from a substance, placing it into your electromagnetic field will produce a reaction. The reason this works is because under normal circumstances (if you are healthy), your body sends blood to all of your extremities and throughout the entire body. But if you are not healthy, when your arm is extended, the brain diverts the blood to vital organs, namely the one that is having a problem, and away from the muscles in the arm. The muscle then becomes weak. It is also important to know that if the body is weak and you introduce the substance that is making the body weak to the body's electromagnetic field, it makes the body strong again. This is because, like in math, two negatives make a positive.
The testing procedure is basically where a person either stands or lies down and extends their arm. The doctor pushes on the arm while the person meets the doctors' resistance. If the person is weak, then the arm will be easily pushed over. If the arm is strong, the muscle will lock and remain extended. The doctor will place a bunch of different substances into the body's field to see what is causing the problem. He will also check various acupuncture points of energy, including various vital organs, and may have you hold your hands in a particular way. I don't understand exactly why all this works, but it has been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of years. It's also important to note that this type of testing and subsequent treatment have a very high accuracy and success rate -- 80 - 95%. Many people have been cleared of yeast, allergies, heavy metal toxicity, etc. by this method.
We recently underwent this testing and discovered the following things:
Me -- Allergic to brown rice and soy; systemic yeast; heavy metal toxicity (aluminum and mercury).
Ben -- Allergic to all grains, including rice; soy; all dairy, including raw; brown sugar; improperly healed scar.
Bekah -- Allergic to all dairy, all grains, brown sugar, white sugar, fruit sugar; yeast issues.
It was kind of cool because while Ben was getting tested the Dr. became momentarily unsure what to do. He hesitated then said, "Where's the scar?" Ben said, "What?" The Dr. repeated, "The scar. You have a scar somewhere. Where is it?" Ben remembered and said, "Well, I have one on my knee from when I got cut with glass when I was a kid...." The doctor located it and said "That's it! That's what was blocking this." Ben is now being treated for this scar, to help it heal properly. At the time of the testing, he had no health history on Ben at all, had not asked any questions (Ben has the paperwork at home to fill out before our next visit). Yet his testing let him know that there was a scar somewhere on Ben's body that was causing problems, and he was correct. How's that for accuracy?
As a result of this muscle testing, we were put on several supplements. Bekah is only taking 2, and very tiny amounts of them. Ben and I are taking several more (4 for me and I think 6 for him). We were also put on a completely sugar-free (including natural sugars, honey, and even fruit in large quantities) and also grain-free. Our only source of carbs is a limited amount of potatoes and other root vegetables. This is because of the allergies, but also because yeast feeds on sugars (carbs breakdown to sugars) and one way to kill it is to get rid of the sugar so it can't feed. So far it's been no problem for her and not much for Ben (he feels a little weak and tired, but basically okay). But for me...I've been so nauseous and weak. This is what happens when the yeast dies off. The yeast releases toxins when it dies and can overload your system. This lasts anywhere from a day to a few weeks, depending on how bad the problem is. It's very, very hard to get through. I can't decide yet if it's worth it, but I'm assuming it will be.
I would recommend with anyone with health issues go see an alternative practitioner to see if they can help you. Please seek out a trained, certified professional. I will continue to share our experience for your information.
Here are some things we've learned:
*If you have yeast issues, ease into the new diet slowly. Otherwise the detox symptoms could be overwhelming. This isn't a good thing, because it means the body is detoxing too fast and there is an overload.
*Have fruit as your "sweet" instead of grains or processed sugar. Raw honey may be a good option too. But, limit it.
*Include a LOT of healthy fat in your diet for energy, especially saturated fat. Coconut oil is great, and butter if you can handle it. Beef tallow, lard, and meat are good options too.
*Eat what sounds good to you that is okay for your new diet (I frequently crave tomatoes, green peppers, orange juice, and cilantro, all of which are okay).
*Make sure to ask your doctor about what you should eat for your specific case.
Resources:
Muscle Testing
Muscle Testing and EFT
NAET
Standard Process (whole food supplements; we are taking these)
Have you ever seen an alternative practitioner or gone on a yeast-free diet? What was your experience?
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Recently, we have undergone some muscle testing to check for our allergies. Ben, Bekah and I were all tested. First I want to explain what muscle testing is and who performs it.
There are different types of doctors who do muscle testing -- Eastern medicine practitioners. So acupuncturists, NAET (Nambudripid Allergy Elimination Technique), sometimes massage therapists. This is because the theory behind muscle testing has to do with the electromagnetic fields that surround everyone and everything. Each person and item has their own electromagnetic field. Some work together well; others clash. The idea is that if you are allergic to a food or experiencing discomfort from a substance, placing it into your electromagnetic field will produce a reaction. The reason this works is because under normal circumstances (if you are healthy), your body sends blood to all of your extremities and throughout the entire body. But if you are not healthy, when your arm is extended, the brain diverts the blood to vital organs, namely the one that is having a problem, and away from the muscles in the arm. The muscle then becomes weak. It is also important to know that if the body is weak and you introduce the substance that is making the body weak to the body's electromagnetic field, it makes the body strong again. This is because, like in math, two negatives make a positive.
The testing procedure is basically where a person either stands or lies down and extends their arm. The doctor pushes on the arm while the person meets the doctors' resistance. If the person is weak, then the arm will be easily pushed over. If the arm is strong, the muscle will lock and remain extended. The doctor will place a bunch of different substances into the body's field to see what is causing the problem. He will also check various acupuncture points of energy, including various vital organs, and may have you hold your hands in a particular way. I don't understand exactly why all this works, but it has been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of years. It's also important to note that this type of testing and subsequent treatment have a very high accuracy and success rate -- 80 - 95%. Many people have been cleared of yeast, allergies, heavy metal toxicity, etc. by this method.
We recently underwent this testing and discovered the following things:
Me -- Allergic to brown rice and soy; systemic yeast; heavy metal toxicity (aluminum and mercury).
Ben -- Allergic to all grains, including rice; soy; all dairy, including raw; brown sugar; improperly healed scar.
Bekah -- Allergic to all dairy, all grains, brown sugar, white sugar, fruit sugar; yeast issues.
It was kind of cool because while Ben was getting tested the Dr. became momentarily unsure what to do. He hesitated then said, "Where's the scar?" Ben said, "What?" The Dr. repeated, "The scar. You have a scar somewhere. Where is it?" Ben remembered and said, "Well, I have one on my knee from when I got cut with glass when I was a kid...." The doctor located it and said "That's it! That's what was blocking this." Ben is now being treated for this scar, to help it heal properly. At the time of the testing, he had no health history on Ben at all, had not asked any questions (Ben has the paperwork at home to fill out before our next visit). Yet his testing let him know that there was a scar somewhere on Ben's body that was causing problems, and he was correct. How's that for accuracy?
As a result of this muscle testing, we were put on several supplements. Bekah is only taking 2, and very tiny amounts of them. Ben and I are taking several more (4 for me and I think 6 for him). We were also put on a completely sugar-free (including natural sugars, honey, and even fruit in large quantities) and also grain-free. Our only source of carbs is a limited amount of potatoes and other root vegetables. This is because of the allergies, but also because yeast feeds on sugars (carbs breakdown to sugars) and one way to kill it is to get rid of the sugar so it can't feed. So far it's been no problem for her and not much for Ben (he feels a little weak and tired, but basically okay). But for me...I've been so nauseous and weak. This is what happens when the yeast dies off. The yeast releases toxins when it dies and can overload your system. This lasts anywhere from a day to a few weeks, depending on how bad the problem is. It's very, very hard to get through. I can't decide yet if it's worth it, but I'm assuming it will be.
I would recommend with anyone with health issues go see an alternative practitioner to see if they can help you. Please seek out a trained, certified professional. I will continue to share our experience for your information.
Here are some things we've learned:
*If you have yeast issues, ease into the new diet slowly. Otherwise the detox symptoms could be overwhelming. This isn't a good thing, because it means the body is detoxing too fast and there is an overload.
*Have fruit as your "sweet" instead of grains or processed sugar. Raw honey may be a good option too. But, limit it.
*Include a LOT of healthy fat in your diet for energy, especially saturated fat. Coconut oil is great, and butter if you can handle it. Beef tallow, lard, and meat are good options too.
*Eat what sounds good to you that is okay for your new diet (I frequently crave tomatoes, green peppers, orange juice, and cilantro, all of which are okay).
*Make sure to ask your doctor about what you should eat for your specific case.
Resources:
Muscle Testing
Muscle Testing and EFT
NAET
Standard Process (whole food supplements; we are taking these)
Have you ever seen an alternative practitioner or gone on a yeast-free diet? What was your experience?
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Large Families
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Several weeks ago I was asked for my opinion on large families, since you all know I intend to have one. The recent premature birth of the Duggars' 19th child brought up the questions again. So, I'm finally getting around to answering it! It's been too busy on the blog until now. :)
And please, if you're going to comment on this post, read the WHOLE thing and give it some time to sink in first. I've thought about this subject for a very, very long time. And those of you who are against large families and/or older children taking responsibility for younger children, please know my mother agrees with you and shared this sentiment with me over and over growing up, and I found it unfair at times that a few of my friends with younger siblings were often babysitting. So it has taken me a long, long time to come to the perspective I currently have, after experiencing many different situations and ways of thinking.
I believe that large families are a blessing. They are not for everyone, obviously, but God intends some to have large families. Some have said "but it's not fair to the children." Here is something to think about: everyone has an opinion about their siblings and the families they were raised in. Some wish they had more siblings. Some wish they had less. Some loved it just the way it was. Some didn't like a particular sibling. Some felt closest to a particular sibling, maybe even more than their parents. But you don't choose to have another child because one of your children does (or doesn't) want another. If you weren't planning more and your children BEGGED for a sibling, would you have another? Probably not. It's your body and your adult life, and you wouldn't want to go through the pregnancy and have another child to raise if you didn't feel ready, even if your children wanted another sibling. Likewise, it's not their decision to say you shouldn't have more children. This is YOUR life (most of your life happens as an adult and it's your time to choose how you want to live it!), not theirs. When they are adults, they can choose their own experience. Love it or hate it, they've had the childhood they're going to have. Not to mention that even if you only have two children (or even just one!), you can't always please everyone with everything. So it is most important to please God, and then yourself, NOT your children.
Within a family, I believe that everyone has a special and unique relationship with everyone else. It's not merely about the parents' relationship with each child, but the childrens' relationship with each other. Siblings can, and do, share very special and meaningful relationships with one another. I know that already in our family, the first thing Bekah says when she wakes up in the morning or from nap is "Brother?" She doesn't stop asking until she gets to see him. He smiles at her more readily than anyone else, even when she's just poking at him or getting in his face. They seem to have a special bond. I don't have anything to do with that. If she hears him crying, she goes over and pats him or gives him a pacifier or a toy. She offers him her food or her drink (although he's not allowed to have it). She LOVES him. I hope that they always have a special relationship with each other. I believe this type of relationship between siblings should be fostered because it is the first model for friendship.
Children don't know how to have healthy relationships outside their families if they don't have healthy relationships within them. Having their siblings around helps them to learn to get along with others, and negotiate the sometimes difficult areas like sharing, listening, turn-taking, etc. While these skills can be learned in other ways, they are built in to large families.
ALL members of a family have a responsibility towards all other members. It's not unreasonable to expect a child to take care of things for himself -- putting his clothes in the hamper, making his bed, clearing his dishes from the table. It's also not unreasonable to expect him to help a family member. Perhaps removing a younger child's shoes, reading a story to someone, getting someone a glass of water while he's getting himself one. When our children are little, we are training them. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." If you wish your child to think of others first, you will need to teach him to do so when he is young. When your child is a young adult and is staying with you, would you be hurt if he went into the kitchen and got himself a snack and didn't offer you any? Or didn't thank you after you made him dinner? He needs to be taught this attitude of helpfulness and gratitude when he is young.
It isn't really a burden for a child to have to spend a short amount of time helping a younger sibling each day. A half hour or an hour of being a child's "buddy" is not a huge chunk out of the older sibling's day (not saying I would choose this system, just saying it isn't as horrible as some have made it out to be). It can also help to foster that special relationship between those two siblings. They may truly enjoy studying together, or practicing their musical instruments together. And I certainly hope that siblings (generally) enjoy playing together! Even if, on occasion, they don't, it is still part of being a family to help one another. It is the responsibility of EVERYONE to help everyone else when they need it.
I believe that today, we are fostering too much independence in our children. We teach them that they must have space, and privacy, and always the freedom to do their own thing. We teach them that as children, they should have their own activities. We push them outside the family as soon as they are old enough and tell them to go make friends, don't worry about helping at home. Some families don't even give kids chores for this reason (yes...I have read a book where a parent firmly stated her policy was not to give her kid any chores at all...or even to teach her manners. As this parent only had one child, I don't really believe her. Perhaps it worked out okay for her ONE child, but every child is different and many would do poorly with that system!). We really push kids to be independent VERY early, from putting their in their own rooms from birth, weaning them betwen 6 and 12 months (if not sooner), disciplining them early but so gently they don't actually get it ("You better come back here! I'm going to count to 10! If you don't come, I'm going to come and get you!" Um...that teaches the child...what, exactly?). Why do we push our children to be so independent? Why is that necessary? And what happens when they grow up?
I envision a family where everyone focuses on each other as their primary relationships. They have friends, of course, but if their family needs them (whether it is to help a sibling, do their chores, or have a fun family outing), they say, "I'll have to catch you next time." I envision a family where they help their siblings because they WANT to, not because they have to. I envision a family that is so close and loving that when all the children are grown, if one says, "I need help," everyone else says, "Tell me what you need and I'll do it." That is the kind of love and help that I see from my family.
When I think of large families, I'm not thinking of just what's happening today. I'm not thinking of my individuals who are independent and will grow up to remain that way. No, they'll grow up to form their own families (whatever size). They will never be really independent. I think it does them a great disservice to teach them to expect space and privacy when they will probably never really have it. They need to learn to live with others instead. Yes, this culture loves to emphasize individualism, but I don't like it or believe in it. I think we need each other. I think we need to be in community with others, part of a family, at all times. We need to give when we can, and learn to receive when we need it. People don't do well at either these days.
As for the Duggars, I can't speak for them. I don't agree with everything they believe or have chosen to do. I don't think in any way that we will be a copy of them or even very similar to them. Being Christians and wanting a lot of children are all we have in common (and debt free, hopefully!). I don't make all my children dress alike and the girls wear their hair long and only wear dresses. I won't make all my kids play the piano and the violin (they can choose any instrument, or sport, etc.). I don't serve them processed food. I won't give them dormitory-style bedrooms (because everyone needs a space where they can have a few minutes to themselves, even if they're sharing with one other sibling). But in general, comparing us to the Duggars isn't really fair. They're just another family out there and there are things I agree with and things I don't.
So that's my general take on the subject. Families are all about each other, they are inherently interlocked, and they all have a responsibility towards one another. Independence is pushed far too much. It's every adult's decision how many children to have and what kind of life they want to lead and how they want to teach their children (and for those children, they'll have their chance too, for most of their life). And ultimately...what is MOST important in a family? That the family is LOVING!! Size doesn't matter, responsibilities (or lack thereof), etc. It's that the parents are loving and giving and they teach the children to be that way too. That is what the children will remember when they are adults, not the minor annoyances.
Right now, I know I'm not the perfect parent (who is?). I know I yell sometimes when Bekah has ignored me for the 14th time in the last half hour. I know we have really bad days. But when she picks up a doll, or sees a real baby, she holds it, kisses it, strokes its hair, offers it a toy...she's gentle and loving towards it. So I know that those moments are what really stick in her head. I have NEVER seen her yell at a doll or try to hurt it or do anything but treat it lovingly. So despite my totally imperfect parenting, something must be going right, huh?
What do you think about large families?
And please, if you're going to comment on this post, read the WHOLE thing and give it some time to sink in first. I've thought about this subject for a very, very long time. And those of you who are against large families and/or older children taking responsibility for younger children, please know my mother agrees with you and shared this sentiment with me over and over growing up, and I found it unfair at times that a few of my friends with younger siblings were often babysitting. So it has taken me a long, long time to come to the perspective I currently have, after experiencing many different situations and ways of thinking.
I believe that large families are a blessing. They are not for everyone, obviously, but God intends some to have large families. Some have said "but it's not fair to the children." Here is something to think about: everyone has an opinion about their siblings and the families they were raised in. Some wish they had more siblings. Some wish they had less. Some loved it just the way it was. Some didn't like a particular sibling. Some felt closest to a particular sibling, maybe even more than their parents. But you don't choose to have another child because one of your children does (or doesn't) want another. If you weren't planning more and your children BEGGED for a sibling, would you have another? Probably not. It's your body and your adult life, and you wouldn't want to go through the pregnancy and have another child to raise if you didn't feel ready, even if your children wanted another sibling. Likewise, it's not their decision to say you shouldn't have more children. This is YOUR life (most of your life happens as an adult and it's your time to choose how you want to live it!), not theirs. When they are adults, they can choose their own experience. Love it or hate it, they've had the childhood they're going to have. Not to mention that even if you only have two children (or even just one!), you can't always please everyone with everything. So it is most important to please God, and then yourself, NOT your children.
Within a family, I believe that everyone has a special and unique relationship with everyone else. It's not merely about the parents' relationship with each child, but the childrens' relationship with each other. Siblings can, and do, share very special and meaningful relationships with one another. I know that already in our family, the first thing Bekah says when she wakes up in the morning or from nap is "Brother?" She doesn't stop asking until she gets to see him. He smiles at her more readily than anyone else, even when she's just poking at him or getting in his face. They seem to have a special bond. I don't have anything to do with that. If she hears him crying, she goes over and pats him or gives him a pacifier or a toy. She offers him her food or her drink (although he's not allowed to have it). She LOVES him. I hope that they always have a special relationship with each other. I believe this type of relationship between siblings should be fostered because it is the first model for friendship.
Children don't know how to have healthy relationships outside their families if they don't have healthy relationships within them. Having their siblings around helps them to learn to get along with others, and negotiate the sometimes difficult areas like sharing, listening, turn-taking, etc. While these skills can be learned in other ways, they are built in to large families.
ALL members of a family have a responsibility towards all other members. It's not unreasonable to expect a child to take care of things for himself -- putting his clothes in the hamper, making his bed, clearing his dishes from the table. It's also not unreasonable to expect him to help a family member. Perhaps removing a younger child's shoes, reading a story to someone, getting someone a glass of water while he's getting himself one. When our children are little, we are training them. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." If you wish your child to think of others first, you will need to teach him to do so when he is young. When your child is a young adult and is staying with you, would you be hurt if he went into the kitchen and got himself a snack and didn't offer you any? Or didn't thank you after you made him dinner? He needs to be taught this attitude of helpfulness and gratitude when he is young.
It isn't really a burden for a child to have to spend a short amount of time helping a younger sibling each day. A half hour or an hour of being a child's "buddy" is not a huge chunk out of the older sibling's day (not saying I would choose this system, just saying it isn't as horrible as some have made it out to be). It can also help to foster that special relationship between those two siblings. They may truly enjoy studying together, or practicing their musical instruments together. And I certainly hope that siblings (generally) enjoy playing together! Even if, on occasion, they don't, it is still part of being a family to help one another. It is the responsibility of EVERYONE to help everyone else when they need it.
I believe that today, we are fostering too much independence in our children. We teach them that they must have space, and privacy, and always the freedom to do their own thing. We teach them that as children, they should have their own activities. We push them outside the family as soon as they are old enough and tell them to go make friends, don't worry about helping at home. Some families don't even give kids chores for this reason (yes...I have read a book where a parent firmly stated her policy was not to give her kid any chores at all...or even to teach her manners. As this parent only had one child, I don't really believe her. Perhaps it worked out okay for her ONE child, but every child is different and many would do poorly with that system!). We really push kids to be independent VERY early, from putting their in their own rooms from birth, weaning them betwen 6 and 12 months (if not sooner), disciplining them early but so gently they don't actually get it ("You better come back here! I'm going to count to 10! If you don't come, I'm going to come and get you!" Um...that teaches the child...what, exactly?). Why do we push our children to be so independent? Why is that necessary? And what happens when they grow up?
I envision a family where everyone focuses on each other as their primary relationships. They have friends, of course, but if their family needs them (whether it is to help a sibling, do their chores, or have a fun family outing), they say, "I'll have to catch you next time." I envision a family where they help their siblings because they WANT to, not because they have to. I envision a family that is so close and loving that when all the children are grown, if one says, "I need help," everyone else says, "Tell me what you need and I'll do it." That is the kind of love and help that I see from my family.
When I think of large families, I'm not thinking of just what's happening today. I'm not thinking of my individuals who are independent and will grow up to remain that way. No, they'll grow up to form their own families (whatever size). They will never be really independent. I think it does them a great disservice to teach them to expect space and privacy when they will probably never really have it. They need to learn to live with others instead. Yes, this culture loves to emphasize individualism, but I don't like it or believe in it. I think we need each other. I think we need to be in community with others, part of a family, at all times. We need to give when we can, and learn to receive when we need it. People don't do well at either these days.
As for the Duggars, I can't speak for them. I don't agree with everything they believe or have chosen to do. I don't think in any way that we will be a copy of them or even very similar to them. Being Christians and wanting a lot of children are all we have in common (and debt free, hopefully!). I don't make all my children dress alike and the girls wear their hair long and only wear dresses. I won't make all my kids play the piano and the violin (they can choose any instrument, or sport, etc.). I don't serve them processed food. I won't give them dormitory-style bedrooms (because everyone needs a space where they can have a few minutes to themselves, even if they're sharing with one other sibling). But in general, comparing us to the Duggars isn't really fair. They're just another family out there and there are things I agree with and things I don't.
So that's my general take on the subject. Families are all about each other, they are inherently interlocked, and they all have a responsibility towards one another. Independence is pushed far too much. It's every adult's decision how many children to have and what kind of life they want to lead and how they want to teach their children (and for those children, they'll have their chance too, for most of their life). And ultimately...what is MOST important in a family? That the family is LOVING!! Size doesn't matter, responsibilities (or lack thereof), etc. It's that the parents are loving and giving and they teach the children to be that way too. That is what the children will remember when they are adults, not the minor annoyances.
Right now, I know I'm not the perfect parent (who is?). I know I yell sometimes when Bekah has ignored me for the 14th time in the last half hour. I know we have really bad days. But when she picks up a doll, or sees a real baby, she holds it, kisses it, strokes its hair, offers it a toy...she's gentle and loving towards it. So I know that those moments are what really stick in her head. I have NEVER seen her yell at a doll or try to hurt it or do anything but treat it lovingly. So despite my totally imperfect parenting, something must be going right, huh?
What do you think about large families?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Gluten-Free Apple Cinnamon Muffins
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**This post has been entered in Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop!**
These are fabulous. I looked at several different recipes I'd created over time and combined them to form these. They are light, fluffy, and very sweet. Sweet enough to be cake, rather than muffin! No one would know they are gluten-free, either. :)
Ingredients:
1 c. sorghum flour
½ c. brown rice flour
¼ c. coconut flour
¼ c. arrowroot starch
½ tsp. sea salt
2.5 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
½ cup dark brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
¼ c. coconut oil
¼ c. coconut milk
¼ c. rice milk
2 medium apples, peeled and shredded, or ¾ c. unsweetened applesauce
Topping:
2 tbsp. coconut oil
¼ c. dark brown sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tbsp. brown rice flour
Directions:
Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl – flours, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon – and set aside. Cream oil and sugar together until thoroughly mixed. Add eggs, coconut milk, rice milk, and shredded apples (shred very finely). Stir until combined. Add dry ingredients. Combine and fold gently. Spoon batter into 12 muffin cups (3/4 full). In a small bowl, mix all topping ingredients. Sprinkle topping over muffins. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Makes 12 muffins.
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Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop!**
These are fabulous. I looked at several different recipes I'd created over time and combined them to form these. They are light, fluffy, and very sweet. Sweet enough to be cake, rather than muffin! No one would know they are gluten-free, either. :)
Ingredients:
1 c. sorghum flour
½ c. brown rice flour
¼ c. coconut flour
¼ c. arrowroot starch
½ tsp. sea salt
2.5 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
½ cup dark brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
¼ c. coconut oil
¼ c. coconut milk
¼ c. rice milk
2 medium apples, peeled and shredded, or ¾ c. unsweetened applesauce
Topping:
2 tbsp. coconut oil
¼ c. dark brown sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tbsp. brown rice flour
Directions:
Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl – flours, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon – and set aside. Cream oil and sugar together until thoroughly mixed. Add eggs, coconut milk, rice milk, and shredded apples (shred very finely). Stir until combined. Add dry ingredients. Combine and fold gently. Spoon batter into 12 muffin cups (3/4 full). In a small bowl, mix all topping ingredients. Sprinkle topping over muffins. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Makes 12 muffins.
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Health Benefits of Herbal Tea
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
***
Before tonight's regularly scheduled post, I wanted to note that there is an awesome giveaway at Kitchen Stewardship! It is for a Charlie's Soap package, including the powdered laundry detergent and all purpose cleaner! Hop over there to check it out and get a chance to win!
***
**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Fridays at Amy's Finer Things!!**
Herbal tea!
It's one of the few "treats" we can have at this point in time. As a quick personal update, we've recently undergone allergy testing and have been told to cut out all grains, all sugar (including fruit sugar), legumes, nuts, dairy. We're left with some vegetables, meat, eggs, and coconut. When I need something "sweet," tea is about all I have left! But that's okay, as long as we are getting better.
There are many different types of herbal teas, and each has its own individual benefits. Let's just sum up a few things about herbal tea so we all know what we're talking about:
*Herbal tea is naturally caffeine-free (so yes, you can give it to your children...Bekah loves it!)
*Herbal tea does not contain any green or black tea
*Herbal tea may contain fruits, flowers, herbs (obviously) or any other "healing" plant parts
Common varieties include:
*Lemon
*Chamomile
*Rooibos
*Mint
*Ginger
*Echinacea
*Elderberry
*Juniper
Of course, there are a myriad of blends using all of the above ingredients and more. I couldn't possibly list them all. The health benefits of the tea depend on what ingredients are in them. I'll list benefits of just a few common teas/ingredients:
*Chamomile -- calming, relaxing (often used for "sleepy" or bedtime teas)
*Rooibos -- aids digestion, can help allergies
*Mint -- helps nausea
*Ginger -- helps nausea, fights colds
*Elderberry -- fights colds and flu
Rooibos tea is probably one that you haven't heard of before. It's something we discovered a few months back. We were at the mall one morning with a friend, when a salesperson came out of Teavana and offered us a sample and a brochure. I'd always seen the store and occasionally sampled the tea but never paid much attention to it. I tried some tea and took a brochure home. It was there I first learned about the rooibos tea and its benefits. I started researching it further, and learned how great it was and how it could possibly help us! And since Bekah loves tea I thought I'd give it a try. I returned to the mall the next night (note to self: do NOT go to the mall with a double stroller on a Friday night, when all the teenagers are shopping) and purchased some Rooibos peach bloom. I LOVE peach tea and this is pretty good stuff. :) Bekah likes it too!
I begged my mom for a gift card for Christmas and have since ordered MANY more varieties. My favorite combination is Caribbean breeze (which contains elderberry) and Kiwi-strawberry. Love it! It's sweet enough to drink without any sugar, hence it helps get rid of my "sweet" cravings now.
Enough about that. You can read more about rooibos, chamomile, and ginger tea.
What are your favorite types of tea? Do you drink them for the health benefits?
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
***
Before tonight's regularly scheduled post, I wanted to note that there is an awesome giveaway at Kitchen Stewardship! It is for a Charlie's Soap package, including the powdered laundry detergent and all purpose cleaner! Hop over there to check it out and get a chance to win!
***
**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Fridays at Amy's Finer Things!!**
Herbal tea!
It's one of the few "treats" we can have at this point in time. As a quick personal update, we've recently undergone allergy testing and have been told to cut out all grains, all sugar (including fruit sugar), legumes, nuts, dairy. We're left with some vegetables, meat, eggs, and coconut. When I need something "sweet," tea is about all I have left! But that's okay, as long as we are getting better.
There are many different types of herbal teas, and each has its own individual benefits. Let's just sum up a few things about herbal tea so we all know what we're talking about:
*Herbal tea is naturally caffeine-free (so yes, you can give it to your children...Bekah loves it!)
*Herbal tea does not contain any green or black tea
*Herbal tea may contain fruits, flowers, herbs (obviously) or any other "healing" plant parts
Common varieties include:
*Lemon
*Chamomile
*Rooibos
*Mint
*Ginger
*Echinacea
*Elderberry
*Juniper
Of course, there are a myriad of blends using all of the above ingredients and more. I couldn't possibly list them all. The health benefits of the tea depend on what ingredients are in them. I'll list benefits of just a few common teas/ingredients:
*Chamomile -- calming, relaxing (often used for "sleepy" or bedtime teas)
*Rooibos -- aids digestion, can help allergies
*Mint -- helps nausea
*Ginger -- helps nausea, fights colds
*Elderberry -- fights colds and flu
Rooibos tea is probably one that you haven't heard of before. It's something we discovered a few months back. We were at the mall one morning with a friend, when a salesperson came out of Teavana and offered us a sample and a brochure. I'd always seen the store and occasionally sampled the tea but never paid much attention to it. I tried some tea and took a brochure home. It was there I first learned about the rooibos tea and its benefits. I started researching it further, and learned how great it was and how it could possibly help us! And since Bekah loves tea I thought I'd give it a try. I returned to the mall the next night (note to self: do NOT go to the mall with a double stroller on a Friday night, when all the teenagers are shopping) and purchased some Rooibos peach bloom. I LOVE peach tea and this is pretty good stuff. :) Bekah likes it too!
I begged my mom for a gift card for Christmas and have since ordered MANY more varieties. My favorite combination is Caribbean breeze (which contains elderberry) and Kiwi-strawberry. Love it! It's sweet enough to drink without any sugar, hence it helps get rid of my "sweet" cravings now.
Enough about that. You can read more about rooibos, chamomile, and ginger tea.
What are your favorite types of tea? Do you drink them for the health benefits?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Health News Tuesday: Parents Confused by Nutitional Labeling, Tylenol Recalls
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Health News Tuesday!
Until I figure out how to make Mr. Linky work right, please leave your links in the comment section and I'll add them manually!
Most Parents Confused by Nutritional Labeling
Make sure you're not one of them! Read labels carefully. Please note a few facts, too: the RDA of each vitamin is the minimum amount you require per day to stave off serious deficiency, NOT the maximum amount you need, nor the amount for optimum health. Even so, a product only needs to have 10% of the RDA to claim "Good source of X!" on the label. There is also concern over what is "natural" -- some consider high fructose corn syrup natural because it came from corn (even though it has been highly processed since then). Bottom line: don't believe flashy claims on the front of the box, and if it has ingredients you don't recognize and can't pronounce, don't buy it.
Take a Look at the Chemicals in Processed Food
More reasons why you shouldn't buy it!
12 Predictions that came True
Dr. Mercola's predictions that have, scarily enough, come true!
Health Ranger's 2009 Predictions
These were 79% true! Read to find out what they were.
Tylenol Recall: Contamination
Tylenol has been found to be contaminated with mold and other things. J&J refused to test its product despite heightened consumer complaints.
H1N1 Vaccine Useless
More information about this vaccine.
Toxic Fertilizer Being Recommended for Crops
Be careful about eating conventional produce if this really gets used....
Why Wheat is Dangerous
You may be surprised.
Add your own articles below!
Carnival Entries:
1. You're first!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Health News Tuesday!
Until I figure out how to make Mr. Linky work right, please leave your links in the comment section and I'll add them manually!
Most Parents Confused by Nutritional Labeling
Make sure you're not one of them! Read labels carefully. Please note a few facts, too: the RDA of each vitamin is the minimum amount you require per day to stave off serious deficiency, NOT the maximum amount you need, nor the amount for optimum health. Even so, a product only needs to have 10% of the RDA to claim "Good source of X!" on the label. There is also concern over what is "natural" -- some consider high fructose corn syrup natural because it came from corn (even though it has been highly processed since then). Bottom line: don't believe flashy claims on the front of the box, and if it has ingredients you don't recognize and can't pronounce, don't buy it.
Take a Look at the Chemicals in Processed Food
More reasons why you shouldn't buy it!
12 Predictions that came True
Dr. Mercola's predictions that have, scarily enough, come true!
Health Ranger's 2009 Predictions
These were 79% true! Read to find out what they were.
Tylenol Recall: Contamination
Tylenol has been found to be contaminated with mold and other things. J&J refused to test its product despite heightened consumer complaints.
H1N1 Vaccine Useless
More information about this vaccine.
Toxic Fertilizer Being Recommended for Crops
Be careful about eating conventional produce if this really gets used....
Why Wheat is Dangerous
You may be surprised.
Add your own articles below!
Carnival Entries:
1. You're first!
Breastfeeding Survey
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
I'm working on a project right now, and as part of that, I really would like to understand attitudes towards breastfeeding better. If anyone has a chance to fill out the survey below, it would be much appreciated! You can add it to the comments section (anonymously if you want), or you can email it to Ktietje85 @ gmail.com (no spaces). Thanks!!
Classification Questions
Age (at the time baby was born):
Marital status (at baby’s birth):
Baby’s gestational age (in weeks; if you don’t remember “full term” is fine if past 37 weeks):
Baby’s medical issues (if any):
Prenatal Breastfeeding Attitudes
Did you intend to breastfeed before your baby was born? Why or why not?
What was the most significant influence on your attitudes towards breastfeeding?
What was your breastfeeding goal (i.e. 6 weeks, 6 months, 12 months, etc.)?
What was your attitude towards formula and bottles?
What were your beliefs about breastfeeding before your baby came (ie. “it would be easy,” “it would hurt,” etc.)?
Did you take a breastfeeding class or seek out any form of preparation?
Did you purchase any baby feeding equipment before your baby’s birth (bottles, formula, breast pump, etc.), and if so, what?
Birth Experience
Was your baby born without complications? If no, what happened?
Were you allowed to hold your baby immediately? If no, why not and how long until you did?
Were you encouraged to initiate breastfeeding within one hour of birth? If not, when were you encouraged to breastfeed?
What was the attitude of the staff towards breastfeeding?
Did you room in with your baby?
Was your baby given any supplemental formula or water in the nursery during your hospital stay?
Did any staff member assist you with breastfeeding? Who? What did they do? Was it helpful?
When you left the hospital, were you still breastfeeding? If so, how was it going?
Early Days
How did breastfeeding go once you were at home?
What struggles (if any) did you face?
What support did you have at home? What were the attitudes of those around you?
What did your child’s pediatrician recommend for feeding your baby?
What was his/her attitude towards breastfeeding?
Did you use any supplemental bottles during this time (with any liquid)? How many per day, and what was in them?
Did you seek any support for breastfeeding difficulties once at home? Who/where did you look for help?
If you sought support, what was your experience?
Continuing Breastfeeding
Did you make your original breastfeeding goal? Why or why not?
What was the biggest motivator for you to breastfeed?
What was the biggest obstacle to breastfeeding?
What do you wish you had known or done before your baby’s birth that would have made breastfeeding easier?
What is the most helpful thing someone could have done after your baby’s birth to help you?
At what age did you wean your baby (onto formula, food, etc.)?
At what age did you start solids (even if you were still breastfeeding)?
What was the ultimate reason you weaned?
How did you feel about weaning?
Other thoughts on breastfeeding and breastfeeding support (tell me what your ideal situation would have been, how a lactation specialist could help, etc. – anything you can think of)?
Thanks so much for helping me!
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
I'm working on a project right now, and as part of that, I really would like to understand attitudes towards breastfeeding better. If anyone has a chance to fill out the survey below, it would be much appreciated! You can add it to the comments section (anonymously if you want), or you can email it to Ktietje85 @ gmail.com (no spaces). Thanks!!
Classification Questions
Age (at the time baby was born):
Marital status (at baby’s birth):
Baby’s gestational age (in weeks; if you don’t remember “full term” is fine if past 37 weeks):
Baby’s medical issues (if any):
Prenatal Breastfeeding Attitudes
Did you intend to breastfeed before your baby was born? Why or why not?
What was the most significant influence on your attitudes towards breastfeeding?
What was your breastfeeding goal (i.e. 6 weeks, 6 months, 12 months, etc.)?
What was your attitude towards formula and bottles?
What were your beliefs about breastfeeding before your baby came (ie. “it would be easy,” “it would hurt,” etc.)?
Did you take a breastfeeding class or seek out any form of preparation?
Did you purchase any baby feeding equipment before your baby’s birth (bottles, formula, breast pump, etc.), and if so, what?
Birth Experience
Was your baby born without complications? If no, what happened?
Were you allowed to hold your baby immediately? If no, why not and how long until you did?
Were you encouraged to initiate breastfeeding within one hour of birth? If not, when were you encouraged to breastfeed?
What was the attitude of the staff towards breastfeeding?
Did you room in with your baby?
Was your baby given any supplemental formula or water in the nursery during your hospital stay?
Did any staff member assist you with breastfeeding? Who? What did they do? Was it helpful?
When you left the hospital, were you still breastfeeding? If so, how was it going?
Early Days
How did breastfeeding go once you were at home?
What struggles (if any) did you face?
What support did you have at home? What were the attitudes of those around you?
What did your child’s pediatrician recommend for feeding your baby?
What was his/her attitude towards breastfeeding?
Did you use any supplemental bottles during this time (with any liquid)? How many per day, and what was in them?
Did you seek any support for breastfeeding difficulties once at home? Who/where did you look for help?
If you sought support, what was your experience?
Continuing Breastfeeding
Did you make your original breastfeeding goal? Why or why not?
What was the biggest motivator for you to breastfeed?
What was the biggest obstacle to breastfeeding?
What do you wish you had known or done before your baby’s birth that would have made breastfeeding easier?
What is the most helpful thing someone could have done after your baby’s birth to help you?
At what age did you wean your baby (onto formula, food, etc.)?
At what age did you start solids (even if you were still breastfeeding)?
What was the ultimate reason you weaned?
How did you feel about weaning?
Other thoughts on breastfeeding and breastfeeding support (tell me what your ideal situation would have been, how a lactation specialist could help, etc. – anything you can think of)?
Thanks so much for helping me!
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Myths About Credit Cards
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**
I know some of you have seen all our previous posts on getting out of debt and alternatives to credit and everything else, but are really holding out. "Credit is good!" you say. "I need to have my credit rating! And credit cards don't hurt if I pay them off monthly, plus I get cool rewards!" For all of you, it is time to explore some credit card myths (and by the way, I wrote this intro before I actually posted the other entries. I just knew that somebody would say those things, lol).
Myth #1: The credit card companies wouldn't send me applications in the mail if I couldn't afford it.
Truth: Wrong. The credit card companies are simply making you an offer based on mailing lists or research they have performed. It is your responsibility to determine whether you can afford to accept their offer. From iVillage. Please remember this! It is very important. The credit companies are not your friends. They don't believe in you. They are only trying to make money off you and their formulas have told them that you are likely to use credit and that they will make money. You do not need to accept an offer of credit just because you've been given one.
Myth #2: Everything is okay because I pay the minimum payment due each month.
Truth: By just paying the minimum payment on a debt, you extend your payments for many years. If possible, send more than the minimum payment. If that isn't possible, you are probably living close to the financial edge. What would happen if you were injured or sick or could not work? Simply being able to live from paycheck to paycheck is not a sign of financial well-being. From iVillage. If you are making minimum payments, you are going to pay several times what the items you purchased are actually worth. If you truly cannot afford more than minimum payments, STOP using your credit cards right now, cut them up, and put as much extra money you can to paying them off so you're not caught in case you have an emergency!
Myth #3: If my debts get to be too much, I'll just file for bankruptcy.
Truth: Bankruptcy is a very serious matter and should be a last resort, not an easy out. It is a legal case filed with the bankruptcy court that is a matter of public record, and it can be reported for the rest of your life if you apply for certain loans, life insurance or jobs. Many people who have filed bankruptcy wish they had tried other alternatives before filing. Once you file, you will always be ''a person who filed bankruptcy,'' and you can never take that back. From iVillage. Bankruptcy is not a free "out" or an easy solution. It's a long and humiliating process. Also, most importantly, you can only file for bankruptcy once in your lifetime. If you file once, you are likely to continue the same spending habits and get yourself in financial trouble again. And the second time, there's no way out.
Myth #4: Aren't there positive uses of a credit card? Like rebates and airline miles?
The thing that can drive your personal credit score down is borrowing and not repaying; that’s called bad credit. If that drives your FICO score down, then it’s a legitimate thing. But not having a credit report score and not being hired by someone because of that doesn’t dry up your job prospects. And as far as the Boy Scouts, they might rule you out based on bad credit, but not no credit. I agree that a low credit score that causes higher insurance rates is stupid, but there’s not much I can do about that. I became wealthy because I don’t borrow money.
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
**This post has been entered in Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**
I know some of you have seen all our previous posts on getting out of debt and alternatives to credit and everything else, but are really holding out. "Credit is good!" you say. "I need to have my credit rating! And credit cards don't hurt if I pay them off monthly, plus I get cool rewards!" For all of you, it is time to explore some credit card myths (and by the way, I wrote this intro before I actually posted the other entries. I just knew that somebody would say those things, lol).
Myth #1: The credit card companies wouldn't send me applications in the mail if I couldn't afford it.
Truth: Wrong. The credit card companies are simply making you an offer based on mailing lists or research they have performed. It is your responsibility to determine whether you can afford to accept their offer. From iVillage. Please remember this! It is very important. The credit companies are not your friends. They don't believe in you. They are only trying to make money off you and their formulas have told them that you are likely to use credit and that they will make money. You do not need to accept an offer of credit just because you've been given one.
Myth #2: Everything is okay because I pay the minimum payment due each month.
Truth: By just paying the minimum payment on a debt, you extend your payments for many years. If possible, send more than the minimum payment. If that isn't possible, you are probably living close to the financial edge. What would happen if you were injured or sick or could not work? Simply being able to live from paycheck to paycheck is not a sign of financial well-being. From iVillage. If you are making minimum payments, you are going to pay several times what the items you purchased are actually worth. If you truly cannot afford more than minimum payments, STOP using your credit cards right now, cut them up, and put as much extra money you can to paying them off so you're not caught in case you have an emergency!
Myth #3: If my debts get to be too much, I'll just file for bankruptcy.
Truth: Bankruptcy is a very serious matter and should be a last resort, not an easy out. It is a legal case filed with the bankruptcy court that is a matter of public record, and it can be reported for the rest of your life if you apply for certain loans, life insurance or jobs. Many people who have filed bankruptcy wish they had tried other alternatives before filing. Once you file, you will always be ''a person who filed bankruptcy,'' and you can never take that back. From iVillage. Bankruptcy is not a free "out" or an easy solution. It's a long and humiliating process. Also, most importantly, you can only file for bankruptcy once in your lifetime. If you file once, you are likely to continue the same spending habits and get yourself in financial trouble again. And the second time, there's no way out.
Myth #4: Aren't there positive uses of a credit card? Like rebates and airline miles?
Truth: Responsible use of a credit card does not exist. Credit card debt is a major problem in America. There is no positive side to credit card use. You will spend more if you use credit cards. Even by paying the bills on time, you are not beating the system! But most families don't pay on time. The average family today carries $8,000 in credit card debt according to the American Bankers' Association. Now let's talk about the rebates. If you were using a credit card at 5%, you would have had to have spent $80,000 to get $4,000 rebates on new cars that lost $6,000 of value when you drove them off the lot. That is not a good deal! From Dave Ramsey. It's important to note that since you will spend MORE money when you use a credit card, this extra money spent is greater than or equal to any rewards you may receive from using the credit card. On average, people spend 20% more on credit than with cash. There are no cards that give you the equivalent of 20% back (at least not all the time), so you still lose. In fact, from Dave Ramsey, "A study of credit card use at McDonald’s found that people spent 47% more when using credit instead of cash. This is money you could have saved." So no, you're not winning by getting 5% cash back!
Myth #5: I can wrap up all of my credit card debt into a home equity loan and my interest will be tax deductible.
Truth: You have just placed your home at risk and could lose it if you fail to make your payments. Nobody ever plans not to be able to make her payments. The reason the lender uses your home as collateral is so she can take it from you if you default on the loan. As for the tax deduction, who knows whether the interest will be deductible for the life of the loan? Credit card interest used to be deductible but no longer is. Are you confident that home equity interest will always be deductible? From iVillage. Do not go into MORE debt to pay your debt! You are risking your future by borrowing from one area to pay another. Pay down your debt directly and get rid of it so you don't risk losing your home or anything else.
Myth #6: If I don't use credit, I'll never be able to buy anything.
Truth: If you don't use credit, you won't have debt. Remember when people used to pay for purchases in cash? If you want something bad enough, save for it. It is significantly more rewarding to purchase something and own it outright than to create another liability. From iVillage. Yes, you will be able to buy things!! If you aren't making monthly payments to credit cards, that's money you'll have to spend on other things. Nice things, that are yours to keep. You have to budget well, but you really don't NEED credit!
Myth #7: You NEED credit cards to build your credit score, or else you can't get a mortgage.
Truth: No, you don't need a credit score at all. These days, mortgage companies like you to have one because then their job is easy: if you have a certain number, you get a loan. If not, you don't. But mortgage companies can also choose to underwrite the loans (that is, look at your financial history personally to assess your risk) and you can get it. Or, of course, you can just save up and pay cash. :)
Dave Ramsey has this to say about credit scores:
A credit score is not an indicator of having won financially. It’s an indicator of having borrowed and paid back money. My credit score is zero. Every single bit of your FICO score algorithm is built and calculated on you borrowing money. The breakdown is 35% of it is your payment history, 30% is your debt level, 15% is length of time in debt, 10% is new debt and 10% is type of debt. It’s an I-love-debt score. I would never not hire someone because their beacon score is low due to not borrowing. Anyone who wouldn’t hire you for that reason is too stupid to work for.The thing that can drive your personal credit score down is borrowing and not repaying; that’s called bad credit. If that drives your FICO score down, then it’s a legitimate thing. But not having a credit report score and not being hired by someone because of that doesn’t dry up your job prospects. And as far as the Boy Scouts, they might rule you out based on bad credit, but not no credit. I agree that a low credit score that causes higher insurance rates is stupid, but there’s not much I can do about that. I became wealthy because I don’t borrow money.
Myth #8: I need to have just one credit card, for emergencies.
Truth: This is why you have an emergency fund. You should have a minimum of $1000 saved in a place you can access quickly in case you have the type of emergency you'd typically have put on a credit card, like car repairs, furnace break down, etc. If you have a much larger emergency, credit is an even worse idea. Putting several thousand dollars on a credit card (especially if you have an emergency that requires on-going payments) pretty much guarantees you can't pay it back, and at 18% interest or even higher, you're going to end up paying many times what you originally owed. Find another way to pay, or, better yet, try to negotiate a lower rate.
Did you know that if you can't afford medical bills, you can go in and negotiate with the hospital? One family we knew had someone who required a $30,000 surgery, and they don't have health insurance. This would have destroyed their finances and forced them to declare bankruptcy. They went into the hospital and negotiated and came out with a bill of a manageable $2000. Yes -- really. Another person we know looked into various aid options (he was single and making a bit under $30,000 per year) when he unexpectedly needed surgery, and he ended up not paying at all. So, negotiation is your BEST solution! Much better than using any form of debt to pay! You can also use this when purchasing anything large, in any industry, whether it's an emergency or not.
Any other credit card myths you'd like to share? Did you learn anything new?
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Sunday, January 17, 2010
Natural Dishwasher Detergent
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Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Well, we were using soap nuts for our laundry when we realized that we were still washing our dishes in the usual grocery-store stuff. And worse, the cheapest brand they had, which was so strongly chemical-smelling I could hardly stand it. And THAT was on the dishes?! That we eat off nightly?!
Enough. There had to be a better option.
I started searching online and found this recipe:
*1 part baking soda
*1 part borax
I bought some (that stuff is CHEAP!) and mixed it up and tried it. Initial tests were great! The dishes looked a bit cleaner than they usually did. I think it was removing some of the residue left by the chemical stuff.
But over time, I grew much less enamored with it. My glasses grew cloudy, and bits of food or other yuck got stuck to them. Half the dishes weren't even clean. We actually bought a new dishwasher, and got the same result. Worse, brown and white powdery stuff was building up on all my plastic, including the inside of the dishwasher itself. Yuck. You can read Kitchen Stewardship's adventure and see that Katie concluded about the same thing I did about this at-home recipe.
We decided to try soap nuts next. I took a handful (maybe 20?) and boiled them in water until I got a nice brown liquid. To this I added a few drops of lemon and orange essential oils. This isn't necessary and I don't always do it, but it helps the smell a little. I haven't noticed any difference in cleaning the dishes though.
This mixture was better. The dishes were cleaner. No more white, powdery residue on my plastic (the dishwasher itself still has the residue, but maybe it just needs cleaned first? I tried to sponge it off but I was feeling impatient and didn't do a very good job). The glasses are sometimes spotted, sometimes not. The dishes are at least clean and rarely need re-washing. This is acceptable to me, and really, we did buy a refurbished, bottom-of-the-line dishwasher, so how do I know it's not partially my dishwasher? Or that we have hard water (we do)?
The verdict is, soap nuts are the best homemade option so far. Anyone have other ideas they want to share with me?
I hear that Biokleen and Mrs. Meyer's make great natural options, but frankly, I can't bring myself to pay that much when I have some natural options I can make it home that are "okay." If nothing worked I'd break down and do it, but if it WORKS, even if things don't look fabulous (I mean, at this point, it's only the clear glass that's even a bit cloudy...not my blue glass plates!)...I'll stick with it.
By the way, none of these are affiliate links and I don't get paid anything to do this...I'm just sharing what I know.
What do you use to wash your dishes? What works the best for you?
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Well, we were using soap nuts for our laundry when we realized that we were still washing our dishes in the usual grocery-store stuff. And worse, the cheapest brand they had, which was so strongly chemical-smelling I could hardly stand it. And THAT was on the dishes?! That we eat off nightly?!
Enough. There had to be a better option.
I started searching online and found this recipe:
*1 part baking soda
*1 part borax
I bought some (that stuff is CHEAP!) and mixed it up and tried it. Initial tests were great! The dishes looked a bit cleaner than they usually did. I think it was removing some of the residue left by the chemical stuff.
But over time, I grew much less enamored with it. My glasses grew cloudy, and bits of food or other yuck got stuck to them. Half the dishes weren't even clean. We actually bought a new dishwasher, and got the same result. Worse, brown and white powdery stuff was building up on all my plastic, including the inside of the dishwasher itself. Yuck. You can read Kitchen Stewardship's adventure and see that Katie concluded about the same thing I did about this at-home recipe.
We decided to try soap nuts next. I took a handful (maybe 20?) and boiled them in water until I got a nice brown liquid. To this I added a few drops of lemon and orange essential oils. This isn't necessary and I don't always do it, but it helps the smell a little. I haven't noticed any difference in cleaning the dishes though.
This mixture was better. The dishes were cleaner. No more white, powdery residue on my plastic (the dishwasher itself still has the residue, but maybe it just needs cleaned first? I tried to sponge it off but I was feeling impatient and didn't do a very good job). The glasses are sometimes spotted, sometimes not. The dishes are at least clean and rarely need re-washing. This is acceptable to me, and really, we did buy a refurbished, bottom-of-the-line dishwasher, so how do I know it's not partially my dishwasher? Or that we have hard water (we do)?
The verdict is, soap nuts are the best homemade option so far. Anyone have other ideas they want to share with me?
I hear that Biokleen and Mrs. Meyer's make great natural options, but frankly, I can't bring myself to pay that much when I have some natural options I can make it home that are "okay." If nothing worked I'd break down and do it, but if it WORKS, even if things don't look fabulous (I mean, at this point, it's only the clear glass that's even a bit cloudy...not my blue glass plates!)...I'll stick with it.
By the way, none of these are affiliate links and I don't get paid anything to do this...I'm just sharing what I know.
What do you use to wash your dishes? What works the best for you?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Natural Laundry Soap: Soap Nuts!
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Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
*This post has been entered in Works for Me Wednesdays at We are THAT Family!**
Soap nuts!!
I love them. If you've talked to me much, you know I do, because I recommend them to everyone. But for those of you who are not at all sure what I'm talking about, let me tell you all about them.
Soap nuts are actually "soap berries," and they grow on trees in India. The berries contain saponin (soap) and feel a bit tacky and sticky on the outside. These berries can be used to wash your clothes! It's very simple -- you just put a few in a small, draw-string muslin bag and pull it closed, then toss it in the washer with your clothes. Depending on the water temperature, it can be used a few, or even several times (when your soap nuts get all mushy, it's time to throw them away -- or, you can compost them!).
Soap nuts are completely natural, so there is no chemical residue left on your clothes or running down the drain in your wash water. They also get clothes perfectly clean! (Yes, you will need something else for tough stains.)
I started using soap nuts in July '08, I believe. It was sometime that summer.... I use them on cloth diapers and all our regular laundry. If you didn't know, regular laundry detergent and fabric softener is created using petrochemicals, and that residue sits on your clothing and is absorbed into your skin. The leftover chemicals also get into the water supply, and are terrible for the environment. Soap nuts, not containing any chemicals, are virtually allergy-free (I say "virtually" because there are a few people who will react to them, just like some people react to any other natural substance. But it's much, much less likely than if you're using harsh, unnatural chemicals).
The soap nuts cleaned my diapers perfectly! They always came out of the wash smelling nice and clean, often like nothing at all! It's the only thing I use to wash my clothes and diapers, unless my diapers need stripping. I find I usually don't even need something for fabric softening/cling, but if I do, white vinegar in the rinse does just fine.
My general wash routine is this:
*Set water temp (warm for colors and whites, cold for "special care" clothes, hot for diapers)
*Set water level ("small" or "medium" unless I'm stripping diapers or have a really big load)
*Toss soap nuts bag in the washer
*Toss clothes in the washer
*Add vinegar to fabric softener dispenser (only rarely, on diapers)
*Done!
Then I can just toss them in the dryer, removing the soap nuts bag before I do. It doesn't hurt to dry the soap nuts bags every now and then, though, because they can get moldy if they stay wet too long. Definitely make sure you lay them on a flat surface (on top of the warm dryer is good) so they can dry thoroughly. I like to load up several bags (1 kg of soap nuts comes with 6 muslin bags) so I always have one to toss in if I only have a minute to do the laundry.
In good weather, clothes can also be hung outside to try, in full sun. This can help naturally fade any stains (and is especially good for stained diapers).
You can learn more about soap nuts, and you can also buy them at a few different places! (Note: I saved almost 60% buying through a coop!)
Soap nuts are worth a try!
What do you use to wash your laundry? Are you looking for a more natural alternative? What alternatives have you tried?
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
*This post has been entered in Works for Me Wednesdays at We are THAT Family!**
Soap nuts!!
I love them. If you've talked to me much, you know I do, because I recommend them to everyone. But for those of you who are not at all sure what I'm talking about, let me tell you all about them.
Soap nuts are actually "soap berries," and they grow on trees in India. The berries contain saponin (soap) and feel a bit tacky and sticky on the outside. These berries can be used to wash your clothes! It's very simple -- you just put a few in a small, draw-string muslin bag and pull it closed, then toss it in the washer with your clothes. Depending on the water temperature, it can be used a few, or even several times (when your soap nuts get all mushy, it's time to throw them away -- or, you can compost them!).
Soap nuts are completely natural, so there is no chemical residue left on your clothes or running down the drain in your wash water. They also get clothes perfectly clean! (Yes, you will need something else for tough stains.)
I started using soap nuts in July '08, I believe. It was sometime that summer.... I use them on cloth diapers and all our regular laundry. If you didn't know, regular laundry detergent and fabric softener is created using petrochemicals, and that residue sits on your clothing and is absorbed into your skin. The leftover chemicals also get into the water supply, and are terrible for the environment. Soap nuts, not containing any chemicals, are virtually allergy-free (I say "virtually" because there are a few people who will react to them, just like some people react to any other natural substance. But it's much, much less likely than if you're using harsh, unnatural chemicals).
The soap nuts cleaned my diapers perfectly! They always came out of the wash smelling nice and clean, often like nothing at all! It's the only thing I use to wash my clothes and diapers, unless my diapers need stripping. I find I usually don't even need something for fabric softening/cling, but if I do, white vinegar in the rinse does just fine.
My general wash routine is this:
*Set water temp (warm for colors and whites, cold for "special care" clothes, hot for diapers)
*Set water level ("small" or "medium" unless I'm stripping diapers or have a really big load)
*Toss soap nuts bag in the washer
*Toss clothes in the washer
*Add vinegar to fabric softener dispenser (only rarely, on diapers)
*Done!
Then I can just toss them in the dryer, removing the soap nuts bag before I do. It doesn't hurt to dry the soap nuts bags every now and then, though, because they can get moldy if they stay wet too long. Definitely make sure you lay them on a flat surface (on top of the warm dryer is good) so they can dry thoroughly. I like to load up several bags (1 kg of soap nuts comes with 6 muslin bags) so I always have one to toss in if I only have a minute to do the laundry.
In good weather, clothes can also be hung outside to try, in full sun. This can help naturally fade any stains (and is especially good for stained diapers).
You can learn more about soap nuts, and you can also buy them at a few different places! (Note: I saved almost 60% buying through a coop!)
Soap nuts are worth a try!
What do you use to wash your laundry? Are you looking for a more natural alternative? What alternatives have you tried?
100 Day!
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Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Today is a special day. It is the 100th post! The blog started mid-October and I have posted daily, and now we are all the way at 100 posts. Isn't that fabulous?
And if that weren't enough of a celebration, Daniel is six months today! I can't believe he's so old. He's now an "older baby." Believe it or not, he started army crawling (backwards, lol) a couple weeks ago. He's just about got the going forward part, but he only manages it by sticking his butt up in the air and sort of scooting forward. It's very cute!
Happy 100 Day!! I'm working (hopefully) on some cool giveaways and also some (possibly) big announcements about our family, so look for those soon! The regularly scheduled post will still be coming tonight at 8, but I just wanted to celebrate 100 posts a little early. :)
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Today is a special day. It is the 100th post! The blog started mid-October and I have posted daily, and now we are all the way at 100 posts. Isn't that fabulous?
And if that weren't enough of a celebration, Daniel is six months today! I can't believe he's so old. He's now an "older baby." Believe it or not, he started army crawling (backwards, lol) a couple weeks ago. He's just about got the going forward part, but he only manages it by sticking his butt up in the air and sort of scooting forward. It's very cute!
Happy 100 Day!! I'm working (hopefully) on some cool giveaways and also some (possibly) big announcements about our family, so look for those soon! The regularly scheduled post will still be coming tonight at 8, but I just wanted to celebrate 100 posts a little early. :)
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Our Story: Part 2
**We've moved!!**
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Part 2 of "Our Story." Based on the comments on the first half, I must ask all of you to read this with an open mind. Please also note that is ONLY our experience and we are not recommending anything to anyone else. We welcome honest questions and differing opinions, but please refrains from insults and personal attacks. We are all adults here (I hope) and need to behave as such. Thanks!
I left the end of part 1 of our story with our wedding date: July 29th, 2006. But I did skip a lot of parts of our dating experience, and haven't talked at all about our early marriage experience. I'm going to get to that now.
Ben and I talked a LOT when we were dating. It was partially because we lived two hours apart and most days didn't see each other. But it was also because we both love to think, analyze, and discuss things to death. So much so that my mother once told me I shouldn't marry him because we were acting like it was "business transaction" instead of a relationship (we didn't feel that way though!). We are just very intense, analytical people. Truly so much that by the time we got to our premarital counseling, we had already thoroughly discussed most of the issues they threw at us.
We knew exactly what we wanted from life: where we wanted to live, who would work and doing what, how many kids we wanted and when, and lots more.
I remember one day we were discussing having kids. We'd talked about it quite a lot already, but we were driving up to an outdoor concert in Cleveland (Cincinnati Pops play John Williams, if you're interested) and we talked about it most of the way there. I said I had always wanted 4: two boys and two girls (as if I get to pick). Ben said he thought 5 was a good number. I said, okay, that sounds good. There was a lot more to it than that, but I can't recall remember all the details of the situation anymore. But we were sure.
So then we got married. We went to Disney World for our honeymoon at the end of July and beginning of August. We only had three days because Ben had just started a new job (the one he has now) and didn't really have any vacation time. I was still in college then, slated to graduate the following spring. I said to him, "You know, we could try for a baby in September and I could finish most of school, then go back when the baby is a few months old." He said NO. At that time we were using birth control. Our parents knew how eager we were to have children, and advised us to wait to even try until I was completely finished with college.
Well, it ended up that I was going to finish everything November 2007. So in February we sat down and I said, "This is the first month we could try and I could still finish school." So we decided to see what would happen. I haven't taken any birth control since that time. It only took us until May, when we conceived Bekah. It was a hot, hot summer and I was nauseous and tired and our central air broke...rather miserable first trimester.
The pregnancy and other details aren't really important. We were thrilled -- and terrified -- to become parents. Ben couldn't really relate at all because he had no idea what to expect. He was supportive but generally uninterested in the details of pregnancy because it just wasn't real to him (it became real VERY FAST after Bekah came and the second time wasn't like that at all).
A truly important part of our marriage was December, 2007. Bekah was due the following month and Ben had saved up his vacation all year, and he took nearly the entire month off. We spent lazy days sitting together, talking, reconnecting after all the busy-ness of our lives. This time we had really changed us and brought us closer together -- just in time for Bekah to arrive!
I like to joke that our life has happened in 9-month segments. We got married in Jul. 06, then I got pregnant in Apr. 07 (found out in May), 9 months later. Bekah arrived in January 08, 9 months after that. When she was 9 months old I got pregnant with Daniel, and of course he arrived 9 months later. Now he's almost 6 months old, so we'll see what happens in a few more months! :)
The reason I've written this is because I'm launching into a series on Biblical marriage and family. Ben and I have studied this carefully (and continue to on a regular basis). We have gone through some devotionals together, and have listened to some sermon series on the Biblical family (his father gave us a set on CD right after we got married). We've also read several books. Despite all this, I don't think our marriage has been as Godly as it could be, or should be. I'm hoping to share everything I have learned and am learning with you so that you can take this journey with me, to make your marriage better.
I've also chosen to do this because recently, it has really hit me that we are still at the beginning of our marriage. We don't thoroughly know each other yet. Yes, we've known each other almost 5 years and have been married about 3.5 years. Yes, we talk all the time and we "know" each other quite well by anyone's standards. But think about this: how many times have you seen a favorite movie, or read a favorite book? So many that you could recite it word-for-word. Yet, each time you watch it or read it, you notice some tiny, subtle nuance that you didn't before. "I never realized that character wore that shirt then," or "Oh, that sentence didn't say quite what I thought it did." These are details that many would consider unimportant, and if you're looking at the general story line, they are. But when you're talking about this level of detail in your marriage, those kinds of things ARE very important. I have a feeling that when we have been married for 25 or 30 years that we'll be like that. We'll know each other so well, be so completely entrenched in one another, that we could never be separated. We'll be two halves of a whole, as God commands us to be.
But first we have to spend a lifetime trying to get there, by loving one another and doing the best we can to know and cherish and respect one another. And that is why I'm writing this now.
That's most of our story. If I've forgotten anything, I'll try to remember and tell you!
Are you ready to learn more about the Bibical marriage and family life? Do you have any resources to share with us?
Like what you read? Subscribe over on the right and get posts everyday in your email!
Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.
Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.
Part 2 of "Our Story." Based on the comments on the first half, I must ask all of you to read this with an open mind. Please also note that is ONLY our experience and we are not recommending anything to anyone else. We welcome honest questions and differing opinions, but please refrains from insults and personal attacks. We are all adults here (I hope) and need to behave as such. Thanks!
I left the end of part 1 of our story with our wedding date: July 29th, 2006. But I did skip a lot of parts of our dating experience, and haven't talked at all about our early marriage experience. I'm going to get to that now.
Ben and I talked a LOT when we were dating. It was partially because we lived two hours apart and most days didn't see each other. But it was also because we both love to think, analyze, and discuss things to death. So much so that my mother once told me I shouldn't marry him because we were acting like it was "business transaction" instead of a relationship (we didn't feel that way though!). We are just very intense, analytical people. Truly so much that by the time we got to our premarital counseling, we had already thoroughly discussed most of the issues they threw at us.
We knew exactly what we wanted from life: where we wanted to live, who would work and doing what, how many kids we wanted and when, and lots more.
I remember one day we were discussing having kids. We'd talked about it quite a lot already, but we were driving up to an outdoor concert in Cleveland (Cincinnati Pops play John Williams, if you're interested) and we talked about it most of the way there. I said I had always wanted 4: two boys and two girls (as if I get to pick). Ben said he thought 5 was a good number. I said, okay, that sounds good. There was a lot more to it than that, but I can't recall remember all the details of the situation anymore. But we were sure.
So then we got married. We went to Disney World for our honeymoon at the end of July and beginning of August. We only had three days because Ben had just started a new job (the one he has now) and didn't really have any vacation time. I was still in college then, slated to graduate the following spring. I said to him, "You know, we could try for a baby in September and I could finish most of school, then go back when the baby is a few months old." He said NO. At that time we were using birth control. Our parents knew how eager we were to have children, and advised us to wait to even try until I was completely finished with college.
Well, it ended up that I was going to finish everything November 2007. So in February we sat down and I said, "This is the first month we could try and I could still finish school." So we decided to see what would happen. I haven't taken any birth control since that time. It only took us until May, when we conceived Bekah. It was a hot, hot summer and I was nauseous and tired and our central air broke...rather miserable first trimester.
The pregnancy and other details aren't really important. We were thrilled -- and terrified -- to become parents. Ben couldn't really relate at all because he had no idea what to expect. He was supportive but generally uninterested in the details of pregnancy because it just wasn't real to him (it became real VERY FAST after Bekah came and the second time wasn't like that at all).
A truly important part of our marriage was December, 2007. Bekah was due the following month and Ben had saved up his vacation all year, and he took nearly the entire month off. We spent lazy days sitting together, talking, reconnecting after all the busy-ness of our lives. This time we had really changed us and brought us closer together -- just in time for Bekah to arrive!
I like to joke that our life has happened in 9-month segments. We got married in Jul. 06, then I got pregnant in Apr. 07 (found out in May), 9 months later. Bekah arrived in January 08, 9 months after that. When she was 9 months old I got pregnant with Daniel, and of course he arrived 9 months later. Now he's almost 6 months old, so we'll see what happens in a few more months! :)
The reason I've written this is because I'm launching into a series on Biblical marriage and family. Ben and I have studied this carefully (and continue to on a regular basis). We have gone through some devotionals together, and have listened to some sermon series on the Biblical family (his father gave us a set on CD right after we got married). We've also read several books. Despite all this, I don't think our marriage has been as Godly as it could be, or should be. I'm hoping to share everything I have learned and am learning with you so that you can take this journey with me, to make your marriage better.
I've also chosen to do this because recently, it has really hit me that we are still at the beginning of our marriage. We don't thoroughly know each other yet. Yes, we've known each other almost 5 years and have been married about 3.5 years. Yes, we talk all the time and we "know" each other quite well by anyone's standards. But think about this: how many times have you seen a favorite movie, or read a favorite book? So many that you could recite it word-for-word. Yet, each time you watch it or read it, you notice some tiny, subtle nuance that you didn't before. "I never realized that character wore that shirt then," or "Oh, that sentence didn't say quite what I thought it did." These are details that many would consider unimportant, and if you're looking at the general story line, they are. But when you're talking about this level of detail in your marriage, those kinds of things ARE very important. I have a feeling that when we have been married for 25 or 30 years that we'll be like that. We'll know each other so well, be so completely entrenched in one another, that we could never be separated. We'll be two halves of a whole, as God commands us to be.
But first we have to spend a lifetime trying to get there, by loving one another and doing the best we can to know and cherish and respect one another. And that is why I'm writing this now.
That's most of our story. If I've forgotten anything, I'll try to remember and tell you!
Are you ready to learn more about the Bibical marriage and family life? Do you have any resources to share with us?
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