Personal Responsibility

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You may have noticed, in the last week or so, that I've mentioned "personal responsibility" in a lot of my posts. That's because it's really the theme in my own life, and a theme I'd like to follow in this blog. A lot of the negative comments I've received here are from people who seem to NOT believe in personal responsibility, so I thought I'd just address the issue head on.

Personal responsibility means taking responsibility for your own actions, choices, and the consequences those choices bring (or for your children, if they are young). It is up to each person to choose for themselves how they would like to act, what they would like to do with their lives, etc. but EVERY action comes with consequences, good or bad. You must be willing to accept those consequences.

For example, I have heard people who go out in public dressed in all black, or wearing pants halfway down their bottoms, or some other particular type of clothing complain that people stereotype them. Sorry to tell you, but if you choose to dress a certain way, it projects a particular image, and people will treat you accordingly. It's like showing up at a job interview in ripped jeans and a t-shirt instead of dress pants and a nice shirt. Who do you think will be taken more seriously? How will these people be treated differently? It is a choice that you make every morning.

I accept that when I put my opinion out there on the web, I'm taking the chance that others will disagree with me -- sometimes, strongly. I have no problem with that and I post any comments which address a particular topic. Those that are merely rude or turn into personal attacks on my character, I don't post. Because that comes down to YOUR choice. If I were to read someone else's blog and it upset me, I would have a choice: to respond strongly but politely (and therefore have a productive discussion, potentially) or to attack the person (closing all doors and making the person angry). It's my choice how I react, and I have to consider the other person's feelings when I make that choice.

The choices you make with your health matter, too. Don't be surprised if you eat junk food and don't exercise if you gain weight, or have diabetes. If you don't like how you feel or look, make a change! Seek help and support and take responsibility for your own actions and any role you may have had in contributing to your illness and people WILL help you. That's not to say it is ALWAYS your fault, but there is always something you can do.

Just so you think I'm not cold and angry, let me share my own story. When Ben and I first got married, we both ate a "typical" diet: packaged meals, white flour, white sugar, etc. I was 20 lbs. heavier and Ben was 40 lbs. heavier. We both felt sick most of the time. We decided we did not want to feel sick or be heavy anymore, so we began to change our eating habits, to exercise more, and to work towards the natural lifestyle we have today. We lost the weight, and most of the time we feel great now. It was our fault that we were heavy and sick before, because we chose to eat junk. And it is our "fault" that we feel better now and have lost the weight. Everytime we cheat and go out to eat, buy processed food, etc., we pay the consequences of not feeling well or temporarily gaining weight, and it reminds us why we've chosen not to do those things.

I talk a lot about debt-free living and saving money here, too. If you find yourself living on credit cards and racking up debt instead of paying it off, that's your fault too. Take personal responsibility for your spending habits and vow to change. We did this too -- we used credit cards when we first got married, took out student loans, bought funny t-shirts and games and went out on dates because we wanted to reward ourselves. But we didn't like the way this was going, so we changed and have paid off quite a lot of our debt and we no longer use credit cards at all. If we'd been in more trouble, we would have sold the house, sold our cars (actually, at one point, we DID sell a car and had only one for a few months, until we could save up to buy another with cash), Ben would have gotten a second job, I would have worked from home or on the weekends (having a full time job would not have been worth it because of Bekah, we'd have had to pay for daycare. But I would have gotten a job and we would have delayed having kids if we'd been in trouble). You see? Ben actually BEGGED me to allow him to have a second job for months and months so we could pay our debt off faster, and still brings it up from time to time. However, we make enough that this is not a necessity so I tell him that time with the family is more important now. Soon we will be saving for retirement, because we won't expect social security or anything else from the government when the time comes. We are taking personal responsibility for our finances, through the rest of our lives.

I'm putting in all these personal stories so you don't think I'm being harsh. I'm not Al Gore here :), I'm not a hypocrite. I don't expect anyone else to help me, and I don't blame others for my problems. And if I can't figure out the answer, I turn to the Lord. He helps me sort through what is going on in my life and helps me to find out what I should do next. He always has a plan for me, and sometimes that plan is uncomfortable. But I am willing to follow Him and take responsibility for the choices I make, especially if I did NOT follow His plan. We're all human!

So, I will continue to discuss personal responsibility here because I think it is really critical. Everyday you have a choice to make. If you are overweight, unhappy, or sick -- it doesn't matter how you got there, today you can make a new choice. You can choose a new diet, choose to have a positive attitude (and seek out a good counselor or friend to talk to), research the best treatments for your illness. It is all completely up to you, and YOU are the one who has to live with your choices. No one else.

Please take responsibility for yourself, and I believe your life will go a lot better!

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